


In The Place Where There Is No Darkness

by GrumpandtheRooster



Category: Smosh
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-07 11:26:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 34,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4261587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpandtheRooster/pseuds/GrumpandtheRooster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Smosh Games Crew AU, based on cannon events. Starting at middle school, Ian and Anthony meet and grow up together, but in this AU they meet the Smosh Games guys, Joven and Lasercorn during this time. Also ships, ships ships! Including Marhinki and Iancorn. "There was no darkness here, just pure white pain" Obviously, I do not own Smosh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

6th grader, Anthony Padilla, stepped out of the bathroom cubicle, still shaking slightly, but the main effects of the panic attacks had subsided. He walked over to the sinks, ran the taps, and looked up at the large mirror that had been vandalised with graffiti, ranging from dicks drawn on with permanent markers to initials scratched in with a compass point. Anthony looked at himself past the graffiti. He had recently cut his hair, but it was far too short for his liking and he vowed that he would never cut his hair this short again, his eyes looked slightly bloodshot and he had dark shadows underneath. He blamed this last detail on his panic attack and also the fact that he looked at least three shades paler than normal. He contemplated eating the remainder of the chocolate bar he had stuffed in his backpack at the start of his previous lesson, but a glance at his watch told him a lot of time had passed during his panic attack and he would be late to his science class. It wasn't much of a loss as the stench of stale urine had began to burn his nose.

He made his way to his science class along three corridors, at varying temperatures, with lockers at body height, some punched in and others unable to close fully. He reached his classroom with four rows of desks attached together with seven brick red, plastic chairs tucked under the entered his class and noticed that half the class was absent, including his teacher, Mr Johnston, so he opened his bag and reached round the bottom of his bag, where the chocolate bar had evidently fallen to, as he walked to the final row of desks where his place was. Having reached the back of the class, he abandoned his hunt for his chocolate bar, partially because he couldn't find it but mostly because he discovered a boy with brown hair, whom he had never seen before, was sitting in his place.

"You're uh...in my seat." Anthony had said awkwardly with a small crack in his voice on the first syllable. The boy looked up at Anthony, he had surprisingly blue eyes that were hidden behind a mop of brown hair, he had a long face and ears that suck out very slightly. He began to blush, out of embarrassment, when he realised his mistake.   
"Oh I'm really sorry" he said as he began to get out of his seat. Anthony didn't want to make a bigger scene than what was necessary, and the kid was new so he wasn't to know.  
"No. No, it's ok I'll just-" he stopped talking and just pointed to a stack of spare chairs in the corner of the room. He hated that most of his conversations were like this, brief and awkward. Anthony was shy enough as it was, this conversation had made Anthony uncomfortably hot and he felt as though his shade of skin resembled a tomato. Nevertheless he turned to face the boy, who had shuffled his chair to make space for Anthony. With his new chair in place, he took his seat next to the boy without saying a word. They sat there in silence as the class began to walk in, and finally Mr Johnston, who wore an atrocious mismatch of colours in his clothing. He wore his usual light brown shirt and a dark brown tie. 

Ian watched the teacher as he said, "All right settle down class" to a completely silent class in a thick Irish accent. "We have a new member of the class joining us, Mr. Ian Hecox would you like to come to the front of the class?" Ian sighed internally, this was what he was dreading, being presented to the class like a showpiece . He got out of his chair, walked to the front of the class and stood several meters away from the teacher. Giving a short wave and a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, he prepared to return to his seat.  
"Would you like to say something to the class?" No, I bloody well would not like to say something to the class, Ian thought. Nevertheless he stared at his feet, and mumbled, "Hi my name's Ian, and I like video games and stuff. Yeah." Ian quickly hurried back to his seat before the teacher could get him to say anything else. When the boy, who Anthony now knew was called Ian, sat back in his seat, Mr. Johnston started saying how it was their responsibility to make Ian feel welcome. Anthony took the position he would be taking for the rest of the class, and every other class, arms crossed on the desk and head resting in his hands, looking alert enough not to be told off. As Mr. Johnston rambled on about the importance of recycling and the danger of landfills, while writing endless notes on the board which Anthony wrote down without taking anything in. 

"Ok class. We're going to do something fun now," Anthony snapped back to attention after zoning out for several minutes "We're going to be creating posters on this topic in partners" Shit, Anthony thought. He didn't have any friends in this class, he didn't have any friends in the whole school but that was besides the point. Apparently this was not the case for his classmates who were looking at each other from across the classroom and calling to each other confirming that they woulds be working together. Mr. Johnston broke into this rambling by saying, "You will be working with the person sitting next to you" and a great groan erupted from the class.

General chatter broke out in the classroom as Mr. Johnston walked behind his desk, leaving the class to carry out their work as he labored on some marking.   
"So, uh, I guess we're working together" Ian said.   
"Yeah, I guess. My name is Anthony by the way" he said as he leaned over the desk and grabbed the blank sheet of A3 that Mr. Johnston had left on their desk earlier.   
"My name is Ian" Ian said as he grabbed the paper from Anthony and wrote Ian + Anthony in the corner. Anthony noticed his handwriting was small and scrawled, unlike Anthony's handwriting which was messy and large. They began discussing what they should include on the poster as Ian wrote, "Landfills" in the centre of the page. Anthony said very little as he copied down information from the sheet which their teacher had given him. When he had finished he looked over at Ian's side who was decorating his side with small drawings of flies.

"Hey you should put a gas mask there too!" as soon as he said this he regretted it, it was a stupid suggestion, but Ian looked at Anthony as though he had just told him the wonders of the universe.   
"Yeah, that would be awesome! You should put some on your side too."  
"What about stink lines around the title?" Anthony asked excitedly.  
"Yeah! Dude we should just cover the page with rotting stuff, like potatoes-"   
"- or diapers" The two boys laughed at the immaturity of the genius that was their plan. At the end of the lesson their page was covered in rough drawings of landfill related items with a few scrawled paragraphs of information hidden in between. They were still laughing at themselves as they walked out the classroom. "Hey do you want to hang out at lunch?" Anthony asked as the hilarity of their actions died down.   
"Sorry I can't"  
"Oh right, thats ok. I just-"   
"I was joking man. Come on lets go" Anthony smiled as he lead the way to the canteen. He felt comfortable in Ian's company, the conversation wasn't forced, and their humor was the same. He wondered what would become of their friendship.


	2. Chapter 2

A week later Ian and Anthony were sitting in their science class again, discussing what a nightmare their maths teacher was, while they were supposed to be completing a worksheet. Their teacher walked between the isles handing back the poster which Anthony and Ian had so wonderfully completed. They grew quiet as Mr. Johnston grew closer to them. Anthony looked at the mark written in red ink.   
"Four out of ten. I'm pretty sure thats the worst mark I've gotten all year" Anthony said, a hint of disappointment in his tone.   
"Me too. High five bro!" Ian replied, with light hearted sarcasm. They congratulated each other and laughed their way back into work. Anthony felt he had gotten to know more about Ian in this week than he ever did about anyone. Ian had told him about how he had moved from another area in Sacramento to this one, because his parents wanted a bigger house, but his new house was too far away from his old school to still go there, so he joined this one. Also about how Ian and his sister were constantly fighting, and Anthony felt a sense of protectiveness over Ian because of this, and despised his sibling despite having never met her.

Ian and Anthony were sitting at the lunch table, prodding at something that had been labeled "Pasta with Tuna" at the lunch line, but was so oily that it felt like swallowing a slug with a similar taste as well. Ian pushed his plate away from him, unable to consume anymore, he looked at Anthony who was still prodding at his plate of food.  
"My parents are having this stupid house warming party on the weekend now that we've 'finally unpacked', I don't suppose you'd want to come would you?" Ian looked expectantly and hopefully at Anthony. He knew his sister would be inviting some friends her old school, but no one really sat next to him at his previous school, so he had no one from there. There was his old neighbor, but he was three years older than Ian and had probably already forgotten about him. Anthony was his first choice and last resort. "Yeah sure. Write down your address and I'll ask my Dad if he'll drive me there" Anthony had replied quickly.  
"Seriously?" Ian was surprised that Anthony took an interest in his life away from school. He took out a scrap piece of paper, torn from the back page of an exercise book. "It's on Saturday from two o'clock," he said as he wrote down his address. He passed it to Anthony who looked over it quickly and put it in his jean pocket.

Anthony read the address with dismay. Ian lived in a far more expensive and richer area than Anthony did. His house would be able to fit a lot more people than his house could. He realised that Ian would be there with him so it wouldn't matter that much, but Ian wasn't the only one that was going to be there. Anthony's mind began to gallop as he put the address in his pocket. More people at Ian's meant more people to talk to, to be around. They would be watching him, as Ian was watching him now.   
"Dude, are you okay?" Anthony could feel his hear beating wildly and out of time, it felt as though his heart was trying to break through his ribs. His body began to shake uncontrollably. He was beginning to lose control of his actions and it petrified him. He saw Ian saying something to him, but he couldn't understand them. Ian's hand landed on his arm, he felt paraliysed, but the heat from Ian's hand felt like a burning ember.

He swung in Ian's direction, and he felt his hand collide with Ian's body. Anthony had just hit his only friend. He had expected and hoped that Ian would let him go, but he just held him tighter and started to drag him somewhere. Anthony hated the contact, he simply wanted to get away. Anthony saw that they had entered a brightly lit room, but he had been so committed in trying to remain conscious, as his heart attempted to escape from his chest, that everything else seemed to disappear. Ian had let go of him now but the intensity of the bright light made him feel claustrophobic and paranoid. He just wanted to run away, but he couldn't, because this thing was inside of him. He tried concentrating on his breathing, counting in tens as his as his vision came back, then control of his body and finally his heart beat at a normal pace. Anthony looked at his surroundings, he was in the boys bathroom again, sitting on the floor. Ian was looking at him, with a scared but relieved look on his face.

Another boy, who looked to be two years older than Anthony looked at him in either fear or awe, possible both.   
"You looked like you just had an exorcism or something." The boy said still staring at him. Anthony felt rate and insulted at this comment, but he knew that if he spoke, his voice would sound cracked and forced.   
"Just go away, man." Ian said The boy opened his mouth as though he were about to start arguing with Ian, but at that moment the door to the bathroom opened by a boy who looked to be the same age as the other boy, with dark hair and thick rimmed glasses.   
"David, come on. How long can it take you to pee?" The boy, David, mumbled something that sounded like   
"I'm coming" and retreated to join his friend.  
"What a dick," Ian said when David left "Are you ok?"   
"Yeah, it was just a panic attack" Anthony replied, but he still felt uncomfortable with the way that Ian had handled him, and when Ian offered him a hand up, Anthony didn't take it. They walked back to their abandoned lunch in silence.

_David "Lasercorn" Moss suddenly grew conscious again as his phone began blaring out the soundtrack to Mass Effect, why did he have to choose that as his wake up call? Any other day he would have hit snooze, but he didn't have time to spare. His stomach ached and his mouth tasted sour, due to eating far too late last night. There was a sharp, persistent pain above his eyes, which watered as he yawned. Even in the middle of a Sacramento summer, he still felt cold as he pealed off his covers. He grabbed some clothes from his closet, not really caring if they matched, and put them on, still in the dark of very early morning. He walked out of his room, passing his packed suitcase by the door as he made his way to the kitchen. He clamped his eyes shut as he flicked the light switch on, and waited until he could open his eyes, without feeling any pain. He looked at the analogue clock, which had been placed on a counter leaning precariously against the wall, as he had not bothered to attach it to a wall. It took him longer than he woulds have liked to admit to decipher the handles and read the time as 04:55. He was still on time. He started boiling water and placing spoonfuls of an instant coffee, which David hated the taste of, into a cup. After adding an unhealthy amount of sugar to the cup, he poured in the steaming water and walked over to the coffee table in the middle of the main room. With his awful flavored coffee in one hand, which he drank nonetheless, he reached down picked up two tickets. One to New York and the second, a ticket to New York ComicCon._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end of the last chapter (the paragraph in italics) takes place in the present (2014). This fan fiction is going to catch up until then and continue a bit after that. The fan fiction isn't going to continue to go this slowly, one more chapter in middle school (with new characters) and then high school! Hope you enjoy this x

Anthony was in his dad's car, on the way to Ian's house, passing through a neighbourhood with identical houses, with perfect front yards, and white-painted fronts, the symmetry made Anthony feel almost queasy. It was either that or the fact that he was about to see Ian again, in the company of twenty or more people. They hadn't really spoken much since Anthony's panic attack. He still felt uncomfortable in Ian's presence but he avoided the topic when it came up, but he wanted to talk about it. He supposed the truth was he felt abnormal for feeling uncomfortable with Ian's touch, he knew he was just trying to help him, but- Fuck, there was a jolt in the road and Anthony bit down on his tongue. His eyes started watering from the pain. The houses here were significantly bigger than the ones in his neighbourhood. After several minutes Anthony's car pulled up outside a house that was painted a pale green on the outside.

* * *

 

David and the boy with dark brown hair, and thick rimmed glasses, walked down the paved street towards their most frequented attraction, the game shop.  
"...but you don't get it, Josh. He really looked like a freak" David said   
"Yes. I know. You've said," Josh said replied sounding exasperated "I just don't see why you keep banging on about it." David knew he had repeated himself several times, after seeing that boy in the bathroom. He regretted saying what he said. It kept on playing in his head, not the boy, but how he reacted, and the boys friend who looked like he wanted to kill David. Not that he blamed him of course. He probably couldn't have said anything more offensive. David didn't reply to Josh who was still walking beside him, distracted by other curiosities.

* * *

 

Anthony walked up to the darker green front door with trepidation. What if he had got the date and time wrong? He didn't take much of this nagging feeling, as he had this feeling before he went anywhere, and his mother had an hour-long conversation with Ian's confirming everything. He rang the doorbell and several seconds later a beaming Ian opened the door, wearing a check shirt and trousers, clearly a pre-selected outfit.

Ian welcomed Anthony in to his house, passing through the main room into the garden through ridiculously large French doors, where his dad was working on the barbecue on the freshly cut lawn, whilst exchanging small talk with Anthony. He walked over to his mother, with Anthony still walking behind him. His mother spoke first,   
"Hello dear, you must be Anthony. I'm Ian's mum, but you can just call me Susan," she turned to address Ian now.   
"Have you offered Anthony a drink?"   
"Oh right yeah. Would you like a drink?"   
"Uh yeah sure."

* * *

 

 

David and Josh were in the game shop, the guy behind the counter recognized them upon their entry and greeted them, he was now watching them closely, still not completely trusting of it but both Josh and David were used to this. Josh was examining a collection of cards when David spotted him.   
"Aw no, don't get those," David said, and Josh looked up at him in surprise.  
"Your deck's already way better than mine, it's going to get boring to play with you soon"   
"I guess you'll have to play with Bradley from two years below then," both boys shuddered at this prospect, Bradley was alright, for an hour, until he stared to get overly clingy.   
"It's alright I'm not getting anything I think. I can't afford..." but he trailed off. He didn't say so but David knew what Josh meant neither of them had money to be wasting. Josh's family wasn't the richest and David...

* * *

 

"Do you want ice?" Ian asked. Anthony shook his head despite being really hot. At that moment Ian's sister and three of her friends entered the kitchen, Ian recognized them as being called Amber, Christina and Florence, why the fuck did he remember that?  
"Hey get out of here we want to use the kitchen" Ian sister said.   
"What for?" Ian replied a hint of anger in his tone.  
"Because we do, unless you want to stay of course."   
"Oh grow up! Come on Anthony." Ian lead him upstairs and entered a room that was larger than Anthony's, there was a shelf entirely dedicated to souvenirs of the different countries he had travelled to.   
"Sorry. I told you she was annoying," Anthony just shrugged in response   
"Anthony? Whats wrong? Is it something I've said or done? You've been acting really weird over the past few days and I just want to know why," Anthony didn't reply. "Please." Ian continued in a softer tone.

* * *

 

David and Josh had decided to go home at last. David was unlocking his door, reflecting on the days events. He lived in a suburban area, with perfectly manicured houses and gardens, apart from his house of course which hadn't seen a fresh coat of paint in years. He stepped into the house and opened the door to the front room where his dad was sitting in his recliner, drink in hand.   
"Hey dad, I'm back." There was no response, not that David expected one "Um, dad I need some money for lunch next week"   
"Go ask your mother." His father's words were slurred and thick. David sighed and left the room, walking towards his bedroom. His mother had died three years ago. Since then, his father had gone on a downward spiral. His bedroom wasn't small but he had very few possessions. A bed, furnished with old sheets and a mattress that had more broken springs than not, a sparsely filled wardrobe and few toys which he didn't want to part with because they still held connotations of his mother.

* * *

 

"Look, Anthony, I'm sorry. I didn't know that it affected you that much, and I didn't know I even did anything wrong by grabbing you like that, but next time just tell me if something's bothering you" Ian said after Anthony had explained to him why he felt tense and uncomfortable.   
"Ok" Anthony simply replied. He still didn't understand how "talking about it" had made the situation any better, he still felt uncomfortable, but at least there wouldn't be a repeat of the incident.   
"Hey you wanna play Final Fantasy?" Ian said indicating a console and controller tucked underneath a desk.   
"You have a console in your room?" Anthony said, astounded.  
"Oh yeah. It's the only thing I don't have to share with my sister."  
"Right. Sure lets play" Ian smiled and started setting up the game. He hoped this would break the tension between them. After ten minutes his hopes had come true, the previous incident had been all but forgotten, and they boys were interacting as they had been before Anthony's panic attack.

* * *

 

David sat down at his desk in the spare room and rifled through his school bag. The only reason why he was "successful" at school was because he had a lack of other things to do with his time. He decided to do some geography, even though the subject drained the life out of him. He was half way through answering question five of his worksheet when he heard a shout from downstairs. He ran down to see the commotion, and he saw his father lifting up a vase that didn't hold any flowers, and hadn't done so in a very long time, and smash it on the floor. His father turned to look at David and began to stride towards him, shards of ceramic breaking under his feet.   
"You! It's all your fault. You're the reason she left, if you weren't such a selfish shit she would still be here" David had heard this several times, but it still hurt when his father said it. He could feel tears forming in his eyes as his father took another step towards him. Without word or warning his father struck David across the face, the pain was numb for a second, but them it began to burn. He turned and ran up the stairs in order to retreat to his own room. He felt a hand grab his ankle which made him fall to his hands.   
"Don't run away you fucker." He heard his dad call, his words so slurred they barely differentiated. David kicked out his leg in an attempt to free himself, but it took several attempts until his father finally let go and David retreated to the haven of his room. He sat, back to the door, hot tears running down his face, which began to feel swollen. This was the last straw. David had to leave


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hi guys new chapter! Writing Ian's coming out was so awkward. I hope that I conveyed it well. Also, hello Sohinki and Mari, how are you doing?

Sacramento

David was emptying his already barren wardrobe into a black duffel bag. He did't know where he would go. He just knew that he wasn't safe where he was. It was still dark outside but his dad had finally grown quiet, probably knocked out in a pile of his own vomit, and this was David's only opportunity. His wardrobe was now empty, and the duffer bag almost full, he grabbed what little money he had been saving over the past year, and headed out of the door. He began to walk in the direction of the nearest bus station.

* * *

 

Ian was sitting in Anthony's bedroom, they had been friends for two months and had already gained a reputation for being the two mavericks of their class. They had decided to do maths homework together, but had been easily distracted by things that didn't matter.  
"How are you not hungry?" Anthony whined  
"How are you always hungry?" Ian laughed "Besides we've only done two of these fifteen questions"  
"I don't care!" Anthony said flailing his arms and leaning over Ian   
"Please. I'm so hungry," Anthony was now placed above the math's book in Ian's lap, so that he could no longer look at the questions "Please!" Anthony said in a deathly growl and moved up to be two inches away from his face.   
"Okay, okay fine. Lets go." Ian said between fits of laughter.

* * *

 

San Francisco

Matt Sohinki walked out of his German lesson, which was bullshit in his opinion seeing as his family was from Berlin, and headed towards the lunch hall where he, expected his two best friends, Mark and Simon, to be waiting. He was right there were his two misfits, laughing uncontrollably at a joke he missed. He walked over to their table, smiling for no apparent reason, he took his bad off his shoulder and dumped on the space next to Simon.   
"Hey save my space"  
"Yeah sure" Their friendship rarely differed from this, they didn't share a deep emotional connection or any of that crap, they just had to complete a history project together last year, and never really separated after that. He walked up to the lunch line and glanced over the food options and decided to have the only kosher thing available, plain pasta. Again. Sitting back at the table, Matt began to eat his very nutritious meal.   
"There was a new girl in my class today." Simon said, breaking the silence.   
"Let me guess. She's totally hot?" Mark asked jokingly   
"Yeah how did you know?"  
"Because you only ever talk about girls if they're hot" Matt explained   
"Yeah, and most of the time they average at about two." Mark added, inducing laughter in Matt, which was further emphasised by the confused look on Simons face.   
"No, they're not," Simon's eyes focussed on something behind Matt, who was shaking his head in disbelief   
"Don't believe me? Take a look yourself." He nodded his to the right of Matt. He turned his head, expecting to see a repeat of Mary-Lou, who had really bad teeth and thin hair, but what he saw physically stunned him for a second. The girl had long dark hair that fell in perfect waves. Her figure reminded him of one of the dolls his sister would play with and her skin seemed to radiate, even more so when she smiled at her friends who were waving at her.   
"Well done Mark, seems like we don't have to find help for you." Mark said cutting into Matt's staring.   
"Told you." Simon said, profound smugness in his tone.

* * *

 

Sacramento 

The air was cold and the sun was about to rise over the horizon. David saw the neon sign that indicated the bus station rise over a behind a building. Getting closer to the sation, he noticed that the station was empty spare for a homeless woman sleeping under the roof of the porch outside the building. The automatic doors slid open into a heated room that smelled like a hospital. He walked over to the woman by the desk who was busy with something on her computer.  
"Hi, where can I go for under ten dollars?" The woman looked up at him in disbelief   
"No where from here."  
"Oh right" David began to walk away, thinking of an alternative.   
"Look kid, do you want me to call your parents?" The woman called from behind the desk.   
"No, it's ok." David said turning to face her  
"What about a taxi, I cant guarantee that they'll charge less than ten dollars but..." she trailed off expecting an answer.   
"Yeah that would be great thanks" He realised later that she probably felt sorry for him because of the bruise that was forming on his face.

* * *

 

"Food!" Anthony cried when their drive through order came through the window. Anthony's dad seemed to be either accustomed to this behavior, or two embarrassed to comment. When they had gotten back to Anthony's house, their food was devoured.   
"We should probably do the math, I have to go home soon." Ian said   
"Yeah sure" Ian wanted to tell Anthony something, but he didn't know how, and he didn't know how Anthony would react. He had known him for two months and felt closer to him than anyone in his life. Yet, he had only known him for two months.   
"Ian?" Ian had been lost in thought and didn't hear Anthony talk to him.  
"What?"   
"Ian are you ok?" Anthony said half jokingly.   
"Can I tell you something?"  
"Oh right, uh sure" Anthony sounded shocked, not expecting to get an actual response to his question.   
"Do you know what gay is?"   
"Yeah, a guy in my pre-school was gay I think. Wait, are you saying you're gay?"   
"I think so."

* * *

 

"Stop here please" David had chosen the only place he knew he would be safe, the only place they would accept him without asking awkward questions. He knocked on the door of the house. A minute or so later a disgruntled woman opened the door, behind her on the staircase a curious Joshua Ovenshire peered down from the stairwell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You do not understand how long I've been wanting to write this chapter, and I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, and writing Joven instead of Joshua is a very nice change. Next time: more Marhinki!

Three Years Later

David and Josh were in the game shop once again. David was leaning over the glass counter with Josh standing next to him, him both in a deep conversation with Randall, who worked at the shop for a few hours on the weekend.  
"By the way, I'm loving the moustache you're supporting at the moment" Josh said.   
"Fuck off. I know I look like a creepy pervert, but that's supposed to be the point" Randall said subconsciously placing a hand over his newly acquired facial hair.   
"So Janet hated it, I'm guessing" David enquired   
"No! That's the problem, she loved it and now she wont let me get rid of it" Randall said in a vexed tone.   
"Why don't you just dump her?" Josh asked  
"I've tried," Randall replied, his voice increased in volume and pitch "I've seriously tried everything, but she's convinced we're like soul mates or something"

David and Josh were still laughing when two boys entered the shop. They looked to be in freshmen year, in Josh's opinion, and both looked to be in desperate need of a haircut. They both walked to the counter, the room in complete silence. The taller of the boys spoke first.  
"Hey do you have a memory card for the play station?"   
"Yeah we just got a whole bunch delivered. I'll get one from you from the back." Randall said and he stepped through the door into the back room. David had a vague suspicion that he knew these two boys.   
"Wait, what middle school did you guys go to?" he asked, more to himself to them, but the shorter boy replied nonetheless.   
"Sacramento Middle School. Why?"   
"I thought I recognised you, we used to go there" David explained, indicating himself and Josh   
"We're now juniors at Freeman High" David added.  
"No way we're freshman there, my name's Anthony."   
"Ian." The shorter boy added, both extended their hands for a handshake. What was it with freshmen?   
"David."   
"Jovenshire," they replied, shaking hands with the two other boys.  
"Oh please. If anything your nickname could should be "Showtime"" David laughed.  
"That was a freshmen year mistake, and should never be spoken about again" Josh said in exasperated tones.   
"Whatever Joshua," David said "Fine, Joven" he corrected himself after seeing Joven's displeased look.  
"I am happy with that compromise" Joven said smiling. Randall came out of the bedroom holding a small packet.

"Five dollars" As Anthony was giving him a five dollar note, Randall looked at David and Joven and held out his phone. "Guys, just look at this text she just sent me!" Randall leaned over the counter holding out his phone. The text read: "I have decided to change my name from Janet to Janet (with a silent 't'). Love you. See you when you get off work xoxoxoxoxoxoxo" David and Joven looked at each other sceptically, and began to laugh   
"Guys this isn't funny, she's mental"  
"What's this?" Ian asked on instinct, feeling as though he were intruding, but David quickly replied:   
"Randall's weirdo, overly obsessive girlfriend, called Janet, would prefer her name to be pronounced without the t"   
"So like Jan-ey or Jane?" Anthony asked and the four high schoolers laughed.   
"You two," Randall interrupted pointing at Joven and David "get out, this isn't funny, and take your two friends with you."   
"We didn't offend him did we?" Ian asked with concern as they left the building.   
"Nah, he's just a bit touchy." Joven reassured him

"We were going to get some food, you wanna join?" Anthony asked.   
"Food? What food?" David asked.   
"Tacos most likely." Ian said.  
"In that case, definitely."Joven said decidedly.   
"I could drive us there." David offered proudly.  
"You realise that Taco Bell is two blocks away?" Ian said suspiciously.  
"Exactly, but ever since he passed his drivers test he feels the need to drive everywhere." Joven said teasingly.  
"That's not true,it's just because I passed and you didn't. I like to rub it in."   
"I'm pretty sure the only reason you passed was because the initiator fancied you." Joven said  
"Don't blame her" David said cockily, which received a playful punch from Joven. It wasn't clear what happened after that, but from Anthony's perspective, one second they were tackling each other, the next, David was clinging to Joven's back, like a piggy back ride.  
"Onwards noble steed!" David called, extending his arm in the direction of travel. Joven just stood still, making Ian and Anthony laugh at this anticlimax. David reluctantly jumped down, realising defeat, and began walking, shortly followed by the others

They decided to eat there, discussing various gaming and school related topics as they ate. Joven liked that he and David had met new people. Living with his best friend was great, what anyone could wish for really, but they had recently grown irritable towards each other, possibly due to hormones or whatever, and often had short, futile arguments. Ian was half way through explaining why chemistry was not all that it seemed to be, when he was cut short by Anthony grabbing his arm. One glance at Anthony told Ian the reason. He was about to have a panic attack.  
"Sorry guys, we'll be right back." Ian said walking behind Anthony towards the bathroom.   
"What was up with that?" Joven asked when they were out of earshot. David shrugged and took another bite of his taco. Several minutes had passed however, and now even David had grown concerned and curious. They decided to investigate. Joven opened the door to the bathroom and walked in, followed by David. Ian was standing outside a cubicle, looking worried. When he caught sight of David and Joven he looked disheartened and almost angry;  
"He's fine. Just go back and wait for us okay?" That's when David heard it. The heavy breathing. Just like he had heard three years ago. He had forgotten about it until then, but now that he had remembered...   
"Joven, go get a glass of water," he said, still facing Ian. When he heard the door close behind him he said:"Ian. I just realised why I recognised you. Three years ago Anthony was- doing this and I said something really fucking offensive"   
"Dude, this really isn't the time," Ian said, but he saw David's hurt expression and added:   
"I wouldn't feel too bad about it. You probably weren't the first and you definitely wont be the last." Ian reassured David, who looked slightly more at peace. Several minutes, and Joven's glass of water later, the four high schoolers were back at the table, ravishing their fast food.  
"Anthony, you've got to tell your parents that your panic attacks are getting worse. If you don't do it, then I will" Ian said with determination.   
"Alright, you do that. But then I'm telling your parents you're gay" Anthony said with a sly grin on his face.   
"Piss off," Ian said looking down at his, mostly finished, meal " and since when was this a coming out party?" Ian added in a sarcastic tone which made the others laugh. "Goddamnit, now I feel as though I have to confess something," David said "Well, my dad's a dick, and three years ago I ran away, and now I live with Joven," This silenced the group. Feeling awkward, David added,   
"It's your turn Joven.", eager to move on. "I don't know. I'm just absolutely perfect" Joven said smugly. "Really? Because I can think of a few things if you're struggling" David said slyly.   
"Please don't." Joven said burying his head in his hands.   
"Lets see" David said excitedly, sitting up as though he were about to present a speech, "You're partially blind, you're shit at games, your "women" skills are seriously lacking, you used to wet the bed until you were eleven-"   
"Okay we get the point," Joven said desperately "Can we move on from this confessions circle, please?" Ian and Anthony laughed, but still agreed nonetheless. David still wished he hadn't opened up that much about himself, he didn't even know these people. 


	6. Chapter 6

Matt Sohinki had now grown fanatical about the girl, who he now knew was called Mari, in his final years of middle school, and had hoped that going to a "gifted and talented" school would mean that he would be able to gat away from her and focus on his studies. In the first week of school, he was walking between classes and there she was again, of course she was a dancer. An amazing dancer at that. Matt had often walked past the dance studio between lessons. He wasn't a stalker, he tried, quite deliberately to keep his distance, but it seemed that wherever he went, she was there too. Still, much to Matt's annoyance, they had not spoken a word to each other. 

"Hey Sohinki" Sohinki heard his friend O'Brien say, everyone was refered to by their last name. Mark and Simon were now distant memories of a time long past, they hadn't spoken to each other once since they left Middle School. Now there was only O'Brien, who was an academic scholar like he was.  
"Hey, did you do the physics?" Sohinki asked, sitting down in the common room.  
"Ha, nope" O'Brien said bluntly "Have you?"  
"Of course not." Sohinki chuffed "We haven't even learnt how to do it yet."  
"Yeah, but you're a nerd, you're supposed to be on top of these things"   
"If I'm a nerd, then what does that make you?" Sohinki asked joking.   
"A geek" O'Brien replied without thinking,   
"Of course" 

"Oh are you still working at that music shop by the way?"   
"Yeah, unfortunately" Sohinki didn't understand why out of all the jobs he could have chosen, why he chose a music shop. He didn't even like music. Sure he listened to the radio occasionally, but that was it. Music wasn't his passion or anything, he didn't know what half the instruments in the shop were called.   
"Could you check to see if they have anything by Black Sabbath"   
"Black Sabbath, seriously?"   
"Yeah, they're amazing."   
"Alright," O'Brien found a new band to be crazy about almost every week.   
"I'll check if I remember."

72 hours later, Sohinki was rifling through the shop's inventory, looking under "S" as "B" had no luck. A cheesy 30s classic was playing in the background, and the shop smelled like dust, but after working there for two months, he had almost begun to like the place. A rush of cold air indicated that a customer had walked in. Sohinki abandoned his search for "Black Sabbath", and turned to go and help the customer. Of course. Of course she had to come here. The only place Sohinki had believed he was free from her. Mari Takahashi's elegant figure walked into the shop, her hair slightly windswept, and she began to walk straight towards Sohinki. Shit. Sohinki felt his insides implode on themselves, she was now closer to him than he had ever been before.  
"Hi, I'm looking for sheet music for this piece by Chopin" she said kindly   
"Uh sure, I'll just look in the files" he said, restraining his voice from cracking . He got out a ring binder from under the desk and realised he had no idea how Chopin was spelt. S-H-O-P-A? He had obviously heard of Chopin before but his mind drew a blank about how it was written. He started looking under "S", hoping for the best.   
"So is this for a dance thing then?" Sohinki asked without thinking.  
"Uh, yeah, how did you know that?" she asked quizzically   
"Oh, um, just a lucky guess" Shut. Up. Sohinki. Takahashi was now leaning closer, over the counter, looking over the store's files.   
"It's spelled with a C-H" she said, beginning to sound impatient. Sohinki said nothing as he tuned to the "C" section, He had given up. He had humiliated himself in front of Takahashi, his life was over.


	7. Chapter 7

Sacramento

David, Joven, Ian, and Anthony were sitting around a monopoly set in Joven and David's room, the game in full motion. Joven's brother had "shot gunned" the play station, so they had settled on the next best thing. Davis passed "Go" for the fifth time, collected and counted his money as Ian picked up the die, ready to roll it, when David interrupted him:  
"Wait, I really need to pee" David said, standing up with one numb leg " I know exactly how much money I have, so don't try to cheat ok."   
"Can't we continue playing with out you?" Anthony asked. "No." David said, leaving no room for negotiation as he left the room. Joven rolled his eyes, picking up his money, more to occupy his hands than to count it.  
"He gets way too in to these things." he said "Yeah I can tell." Ian said, bouncing the dice between his hands. 

"Um, Joven, why does he live here, as in what happened between him and his dad?" Joven did not reply, he looked away when Anthony had finished speaking.   
"It's ok if you don't want to say-"   
"I think that would be for the best," Joven said, adopting a serious tone, which he rarely used.   
"I don't think that's my story to tell. Besides I barely know myself, it's not really a topic we discuss in a casual conversation. All I know is about three years ago, he showed up at my house at 4 a.m covered in bruises. My parents and his dad had this whole legal debate about David, which ended up with him staying here."   
"What about his mother?" Ian asked.   
"She's dead." David said standing in the doorway, his voice was expressionless, but there was pain in his eyes.  
"David I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were there" Ian apologised, speaking quickly. David laughed in disbelief   
"What does it matter? You were talking about it anyway."   
"We're really sorry David, I shouldn't have brought it up." Anthony said.  
"Just stop talking" Joven said in David's defence as David sat down in his place again   
"It's your turn Ian." He said not looking up.

The game continued, with Anthony ending up the victor in the end, but there was an underlying tension between the group as they played.   
"I'm really thirsty, could I have a drink?" Ian said at the end of the game.   
"Yeah sure. Come on, I'll get you one" David said, running away from the responsibility of packing away the game.  
"So what do you want?" David asked once in the kitchen, he opened the fridge and continued "Water? Orange juice? Apple juice? Cranberry juice? Pear juice?"   
"That's a lot of juice. I'll just have water, thanks"   
"Yeah, I know. Marie, Joven's mum, went on this juice cleanse last month" David explained as he filled a glass with water and handed it to Ian.  
"I'm really am sorry, David" Ian said taking the glass from David who shook his head and mumbled:   
"It's fine, I overreacted" Ian suddenly hugged David, his arms wrapping all the way around his frame. To Ian's surprise, David hugged back, burying his face in Ian's shoulder. From what Ian knew of David, he never expressed his feeling out loud, so this must have been some sort of emotional release. The two boys stepped away from each other and Ian downed his water in three gulps.

When they had returned upstairs, Joven was looking down at his phone facing away from the door. David crept up behind him, looked over his shoulder to look at the phone, unknown by Joven.   
"What you looking at?" David shouted in Joven's ear, making him jump.   
"Randall just sent me a text, saying that there's a party at The Warehouse on Saturday," Joven said, when the two boys stopped laughing at the cartoonish way Joven reaction of being scared. The Warehouse was the name given to the house of Troy Baines, who coincidently lived next to an old warehouse that got burned down and abandoned in the 80s, and now hosted the best parties in Sacramento.  
"Do you guys want to go?"  
"Wait, to the party in the warehouse?" Anthony asked in disbelief. Although The Warehouse parties were infamous, you had to be invited to them to know when they were.  
"Yeah?" Joven said, not really understanding Anthony's tone.   
"Umm. Hell yeah" Anthony said "What about you?"   
"Oh Joven is definitely going," David said "He met this pretty girl last time and forgot to get her number. Which I guess means I'm coming too"   
"What about you Ian?" Joven asked.   
"If you guys are then yeah, I guess."  
"Great, I'll tell Randall." Anthony smiled at Ian, who didn't smile back. Despite Anthony's anxieties, this was something he had always wanted to do. San Francisco Sohinki and O'Brien were sitting in the library, after school, finishing an English project. They had already been there half an hour and were, whispering and laughing excitedly. 

* * *

 

 "So you know how my brother came home from college this weekend?" O'Brien said "  
Yeah, you said" Sohinki replied.   
"Well basically, turns out he's part of a Frat House," O'Brien said excitedly, but Sohinki wasn't surprised, the older brother was the antithetical of his junior.  
"And I heard him talking to his friend and they're having a party this Saturday. We should go."  
"Why?" Sohinki groaned.  
"Because it will be amazing!" O'Brien said enthusiastically. "And you owe me"   
"For what?" Sohinki asked rather too loudly, causing the librarian to signal to them to be quiet.   
"For doing your math for you. Come on. Please."O'Brien begged.   
"Fine. Whatever." Sohinki reluctantly agreed. He was regretting this immensely.


	8. Chapter 8

Ian and Anthony walked down David and Joven's street, passing by the houses, some with the lights on, all with perfectly manicured Californian gardens. Ian got out his phone and alerted David that they were close.  
"Tonight's going to be great." Anthony said for the tenth time that hour. Ian just mumbled politely in agreement, not agreeing at all. He didn't really understand the huge hype about going to this party. They reached David and Joven's house and knocked on the door. David opened the door, with Joven standing behind him. Both were wearing similar things, jeans and a button down, but David pulled it off better in Ian's opinion.   
"Shall we go?" Anthony asked, clearly eager to be at the party, but a woman, that looked too alike Joven to mistake her for anyone but his mother, appeared in the's doorway. Anthony's heart sank as he realised they had been caught.   
"No sex. No tattoos or piercings. No doing anything you'll regret later," She said with Joven and David mouthing along. Apparently this was a routine. "I mean it. You've got company this time, don't be a bad influence."   
"We wont, don't worry Marie." David said stepping outside and smiling at Ian. Joven attempted to follow, but was held back by his mother, who planted a kiss on his cheek, which Joven shriveled away from, hurrying towards his friends.

"Aw did Joven enjoy his kiss from his mummy before he goes?" Ian said in a high-pitched sing-song voice.  
"Fuck off." Joven replied simply, he wasn't in the mood to be mocked tonight, but it was going to happen whether he wanted it or not.   
"I just can't believe can't believe you told her the truth about where we're going." Anthony said sitting next to Ian in the backseat of David's car, Joven sitting in the passenger seat. "We couldn't hide it from her anyway," David laughed. "We'd be in bigger trouble if we lied about it."   
"That's very true," Joven added. "What did you tell your parents?"   
"I said that I was staying at Ian's" Anthony explained  
"And he said he said he was staying at mine. It's what we usually do."  
"And you got away with that?" Joven asked skeptically, and Ian and Anthony nodded.  
"Well, that deserves praise, not that your actions are praiseworthy."

"So Joven, who's the girl you want to meet tonight?"Anthony asked, with the car having been parked a few blocks away from their venue.  
"Her name's Annie. She's got dark brown hair and amazing eyes." Joven said.   
"That narrows it down to about half the girls there" Ian joked.   
"She's also Australian." Joven said defensively.   
"And how do you know she'll even be there?" Anthony asked.  
"I just do okay." Joven said   
"Jeez since when did you all start attacking me?"  
"Because you act like a melodramatic drama queen when we do." David said jokingly, but he gave Joven a glance which he hoped conveyed the question   
"Are you okay?". It seemed to work as Joven nodded.

"How many people do you think will be there?" Ian asked, more for Anthony's sake.   
"Maybe a couple thousand." David said indifferently. Ian looked over to Anthony with concern, but Anthony looked as though he were about to enter paradise. Ian hated that he had to babysit Anthony, wherever they went, he was his best friend and he cared about far more than he liked to admit, but he was becoming tired of protecting him, and it didn't help that Anthony always insisted on going to events with a large number of people.

"Oh shit there's a bouncer there Ian said as the red-brick front of The Warehouse came into view."I don't own a fake ID."  
"Don't worry about it. He's just there for when the police show up, which is usually around 4, I saw we leave before then to avoid trouble." Joven advised.  
"Agreed." David said checking his watch. "That gives us about five hours, try to stick together." David said as he paid the bouncer $10 a head, and they entered through the heavy metal doors. The music, which could be heard from several streets away, reverberated through their bodies as they walked through the building, changing the pace of their hearts to the beat of the song. There were two levels to The Warehouse, the ground floor, which was a large open space where most of the action took place, and an upper balcony level that wrapped around the building, containing abandoned offices. The walls were still black with soot after the fire, but overall, the building seemed to be mostly intact. As they walked through the sweaty crowd, they could smell the familiar and distinct smell of weed, it was so thick in the air they could almost taste it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annie is based on diamond-howell on tumblr. Thank you Annie for your support. Ok so the next few chapters are going to go through the different POVs of Ian, David, Joven, and Anthony going through the party, showing the parallels and all that good stuff. Sohinki's party is going to take place in Chapter 13 so look forward to that. Flash-forward to Lasercorn will take place in Chapter 10, I felt as though we haven't seen him in a while. Love you guys hope you enjoy reading the next few chapters as much as I enjoyed writing them. Next Time: Long chapter in Ian's POV xx


	9. Chapter 9

Ian walked into The Warehouse, surrounded by warm, overly happy people. A house song was playing, to loudly to be considered "in the background", The music seemed to fill the empty space in the room, replacing the air. To his left was Anthony, both trailing slightly behind David and Joven, who lead the way, avoiding mosh pits. Despite Joven's usual clumsy nature, he appeared to be at home in this environment, he was nodding his head completely out of time to the pounding base, but he walked through and blended in with the crowd of mavericks. Ian and Anthony followed behind their more experienced companions, taking in their surroundings.

They walked to the right side of the hall, where several crates of alcohol, placed in mostly melted ice, lined the wall. Ian saw Joven lean in closer to David, saying something that Ian could not make out due to his voice being drowned out by the noise of their surroundings. David nodded as Joven got his phone out. Ian sent David a questioning look, which he answered by leaning in to Ian, explaining that Joven going to text Randall. Ian could smell David's cologne vaporizing off David's body, and the from his breath sent shivers down his body. When David pulled away, Ian acted as though his proximity did not affect him. Ian couldn't deny that he found David attractive, but reason overcame reason when it came to admitting this. While Joven waited for a reply, they all drinks a was momentarily stunned when Davis lent in again, 

"Make sure the bottle's actually closed before you drink it." He said grabbing a bottle of beer for himself. Ian picked up a can of beer, inspecting it closely for puncture marks. Once he was satisfied it was uncontaminated, he turned back towards David and Joven, who had already downed their first bottle. Anthony was standing next to them smiling like a school boy. Joven showed David something on his phone, presumably a text from Randall, and gestured for the others to follow him, after David grabbed more beers for Joven and himself. They began walking around the edge of the large hall. Where they were headed, Ian did not know, the uncertainty making him unreasonably tense, so he triedlooking at all the different couple's pressed up against the black wall of the building, realising that he may never be able to do this with someone he loved if people didn't change, and people never changed. Ian was momentarily distracted by one couple, the man's dark brown skin contrasted with the girl's bright red hair, and in the strobe lighting, they looked like pieces of art.

Ian was staring at the way they moved together and caught his leg on something soft. He tugged on his leg to try and release it, but he was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol and lost his balance. He reached out to Anthony grabbing him for support, but this only caused them to fall on top of each other, onto a pile of various cushions and pillows which had been the culprits in the first place. When they had realised what had happened, both boys burst into laughter. Ian managed to compose himself after several minutes lifting himself to off Anthony's body, to see David and Joven pissing themselves laughing. He had just gotten to a sitting position when Anthony grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him back down, until he was again on top of Anthony, but now Anthony grabbed Ian's cheeks and started kissing him. Anthony started wrapping his hands around Ian, as cat calls could be heard from David and Joven, but Ian put his hand on Anthony's chest, pushing him away.

Anthony gave Ian a confused look when they pulled apart but Ian ignored it, getting up and joining David and Joven, who continued walking when Ian had caught up with them, making sure that Anthony was following him.   
"So where exactly are we going." Ian asked hoping to a repeat of what just happened. David shrugged and said:  
"Mr. Sullivan's office. Randall said he was in there." They stared climbing a set of grated metal stairs onto the balcony level. Here the music was slightly quieter and he could here that Joven and David were in deep conversation. Ian began looking at the frosted doors of the offices on the balcony, which had name plaques in gold lettering. "Mr. Hurley, CEO", "Mr Lee, Accounts", "Mrs Blume, Production manager". They all stopped outside the door that read " , Brand Manager." Joven tried opening the door, but it was evidently locked. So he knocked on the glass instead.

There was a few seconds wait, but then the familiar smiling face of Randall opened the door, greeted them, hugging Joven and David as they walked past. Ian expected more people than just Randall and his blond girlfriend, but he wasn't complaining. Apart from the two people, the room was empty, unless you count the sick stain in the corner.   
"You chose a really nice room Randall." David said sarcastically, noticing the stain that splattered up the wall.   
"Well it was either this or watching people fuck next door"   
"Nope, that's ok" Joven responded quickly. Conversation was in motion, and the entire time, Randall's girlfriend, Janet, holding Randall's arm, as though she were preventing him from running away. She was just explaining how she and Randall were going to move in together, when Anthony took him by his arm, walking over to the vomit stain corner.

"What was that back there?" Anthony asked.   
"Me? What was up with you?" Ian snapped back in hushed tones, the room was sound proof as it was an office in a factory, but Ian didn't want to make a scene.   
"It was instinct, but you didn't have to run away like that."   
"Yes I did. Anthony, we've been friends for years and I don't want to ruin what we had. l love you, but not like that."  
"Do you really? Recently, you've been acting like you don't care about me at all. You've just been obsessed with David and Joven." Anthony accused   
"That is the biggest bullshit I have ever heard. The only reason I came to this stupid thing, because of you. You always do this, I'm always here for you, always there when you need me-"   
"I DON'T ASK YOU TO," Anthony shouted, drawing the attention of the room to himself and Ian   
"Whatever." Anthony said before rushing out of the room.

2014 

Lasercorn was set down his ticket to comic con, back onto the coffee table, mentally reminding himself that he had placed it there. He heard a shuffling from behind him and realised that he had woken up his room mate.   
"Sorry, did I wake you up" David said as he turned around to face Joven, who yawned as he shook his head.   
"I set an alarm so that I could say good bye." Joven mumbled sleepily. He grabbed Lasercorn's coffee from his hand and took a sip, before returning it back to Lasercorn's hand. "Thanks" Lasercorn said sarcastically.   
"No problem. So are you looking forward to going to New York?" Joven asked.   
"Please don't make small talk," David said "and it's not like I haven't been before."   
"True, but you've never been without me." Joven said.   
"I suppose. It wont be the same without you" David joked, Joven laughed and shook his head.   
"Alright don't go all sentimental on me. How long have you got left?"  
"About an hour."David said glancing again at the clock again.   
"You want a quick play of DOTA?" Joven said.   
"You always know just what to say." David smiled, as he jumped over the couch, leaving Joven to set up the game.


	10. Chapter 10

"I DON'T ASK YOU TO," David snapped his attention to Anthony who was in a corner talking, and now was shouting at Ian.  
"Whatever." Anthony said as he stormed out of the room.   
"Joven go after him," David said upon instinct. Joven left the room obediently, as David walked over to Ian, who had turned away from the rest of the room, leaning his head against the wall. David reached out and put a hand on Ian's arm, and Ian flinched at the sudden contact. David got in closer to Ian so that the other two in the room could not hear him say in hushed tones:   
"Do you want to go look for him?" Ian shook his head still not looking at David.   
"Lets just get out of here." Ian mumbled, finally turning to look into David's eyes, his own watering slightly. David nodded, turning towards Randall and Janet.   
"We're going to get some air." David explained, and Randall and Janet agreed, unquestioning. As David opened the door, he felt as though a wave of sound hit him, he stepped out onto the balcony, Ian following him.   
"I can't actually leave without Joven," David shouted into Ian's ear. "Do you want to get another drink, he continued, eyeing his own empty bottle. Ian shook his head smiling; "Wouldn't that be your third in half an hour?" he laughed, and David simply shrugged.

David was a lightweight, he knew this very well, but nonetheless he downed another bottle of beer. David hated being drunk, it reminded him of his father, in the way that it drowned his feelings for a while, everything became fuzzy and they didn't matter, which was presumably why his father did it. But David found that he did it because he could, because no one would judge him if he did, and it felt good. Not to be judged that is, not being drunk, being drunk was a fucking terrible experience for several reasons: Reason 1:Clumsiness David almost fell onto of a group of people who looked to be five years older than he was and ten times stronger. If Ian hadn't caught him he would be going home covered in bruises and deeply embarrassed.   
"Are you okay?" Ian asked, half laughing, half concerned. David nodded laughing at himself. They had reached the crates which were considerably more empty than the last time they were there and the cans and bottles were just bobbing up and down in water. David took another beer but Ian did not. David once again downed his beer in a minute to Ian's amazement. When he had finished he had a grimace on his face.  
"It's so warm, it tastes like piss" David said, his words slightly slurred. Ian laughed, David noticed that Ian's eyes seemed to shine when he smiled.

"Lets go dance or something" Ian suggested taking David's hans and leading him to the middle of the room. Ian seemed different without Anthony there. He seemed to be carefree and more daring. David danced freely and without a care under the influence of alcohol, and although Ian felt more free, he didn't look it as he danced with stiff legs and barely moving arms. After a while a girl started dancing with them, there they were, in the middle of the room, three people awkwardly dancing in a triangle, oblivious to everything else. The girl had straight, fair hair, and a small amount of make up that emphasised her already pretty features, she was clearly the best dancer of the three, dancing with a flow and grace that reminded David of a deer. The song had slowed down, even though the beat was still strong, it clashed in a good way. The girl started dancing closer to Ian, until, eventually it was just those two dancing by themselves, David acting as an onlooker, dancing by itself as he watched them dance together.

Reason 2: Emotions Why did David feel jealous of this? It wasn't like David couldn't go and dance with someone else, or join back in again. So why didn't he? David started walking around so he could be between them again, but they were dancing so close to each other he still felt excluded. Then David grew angry. The girl kissed Ian, she seemed to be several years older, but she still kissed him. Ian was shocked and attempted to push her away, but she just grabbed onto him tighter. David pushed her away and positioned himself between the two of them looking at the girl who appeared to be disgusted. She eventually walked away when she grew bored of them and David turned back toward Ian.

"Can just go please." Ian said, whatever happiness that he had recovered from his argument with Anthony had disappeared and he sulked towards the entrance with David following him. The cold air hit the two like a brick. It was a stark contrast from the atmosphere inside. Only a few people stood there, including the bouncer and a couple deeply making out against the wall. David got out his phone and texted Joven: "we need to leave come quickly please" sending it as he began to shiver. He looked up at Ian who was doing the same and began to jump up and down on the spot trying to keep warm.

"IT'S FUCKING COLD" Ian proclaimed, braking the silence and catching the attention of the couple who stopped kissing for a moment to look at the Ian before returning to their previous activity. David laughed, getting closer to Ian and eventually embracing him to generate some heat between the two of them. David smelled of alcohol and sweat, but Ian hugged him back nonetheless.

Reason 3: Nausea, nope, actually being sick. David began to feel his mouth fill with saliva and his knees go soft. He pulled away from Ian and proceeded to throw up onto the concrete floor. When David reflected on the evening that's when things began to go blurry, and he didn't really know what happened next, but he felt happy when he thought about it. Ian was stunned by the sudden coldness as David pulled away, when he heard the sound of David throwing up, he turned away in respect and continued shivering. David tuned back towards Ian looking slightly dazed. 

"Way to ruin a moment dude." Ian said jokily   
"Was that a moment? I'm sorry." David said, seeming to actually be sorry for his actions.   
"I was joking. Do you want a mint?" Ian asked, realising he had some year old ones in his jean pocket. David nodded. Taking one from Ian's hand, David placed the mint in his mouth. "I don't think I can drive you." David admitted, the mint making his speech even less understandable. Ian shook his head smiling;  
"Joven can I guess" Ian suggested but David just started laughing loudly.  
"Joven is half blind, and probably high by now." David's face had a comically animated look of contemplation on his face, which made Ian smile.   
"We're going to have to find a hotel or something."  
"Okay, do you have any money?" Ian asked.   
"In the car, yeah" David said   
"Lets go then."  
"Joven, Anthony. Friends that are not here, ring any bells?" Ian laughed. David frowned and stood still for several minutes. Ian found it funny how David was extremely animated when he was drunk. He hugged David this time once the cold had begun to set in. They stood there for several minutes, just enjoying each others presence. Out of all the encounters with people Ian had that night, this was the only one Ian had enjoyed.


	11. Chapter 11

"I DON'T ASK YOU TO," Anthony shouted, before storming out of the office. He crossed the balcony and grabbed onto the charred wooden hand rail that framed the barrier. Anthony felt as though he could go back inside and apologise to Ian. Then again why should he, Ian was the one who overreacted. Ian was the one who was acting heroic, when it wasn't even needed. Anthony hated being treated like a child by Ian, he had always done it, and it didn't seem like it would stop.

Anthony didn't hear the door open behind him, and so flinched when he felt a hand touch him.   
"You want to go back in?" a sympathetic Joven asked. Anthony shook his head.   
"Let's go down."Anthony suggested, indicated to the people below them. All with their own separate troubles and secrets. Joven agreed, and lead Anthony down the metal staircase, back into the main section of the party. "  
Do you want to talk about it?" Joven asked, needing to lean in closer to Anthony, in order for his words to be heard over the pounding music, which was beginning to annoy Anthony.   
"Not really." Anthony said. It wasn't something that could be resolved by "talking about it", the problem went deeper than the talking about it with a person with whom it didn't concern. Joven agreed simply, and attempted to change the subject.   
"I really want to find that girl. The one that I was talking about before. Would you mind looking with me? It might take your mind off it." Joven said, almost in embarrassment, and Anthony swore Joven had turned a slightly redder shade.   
"Yeah, alright. We'll go look for your crush." Anthony joked.   
"She's not my crush." Joven said defensively.  
"Mmm. Yeah. Sure" Anthony agreed sarcastically.   
"I'm serious. It's not like that between us" Joven continued.   
"What do you mean. What is it like?"Anthony asked suspiciously  
"It doesn't matter," Joven said defiantly. Then, when Anthony gave him a questioning look, added:   
"If you help me find her, then you'll know"   
"Alright, I'm interested now." Anthony said.

Joven didn't really say that much, well he said a lot but nothing really of interest. Anthony felt as though he did not know his senior at all, and he felt compelled to know more. The two boys weaved in and out of the crowd for what seemed like ages, they had even passed David and Ian, dancing together. The sight of Ian brought a wave of bitterness to Anthony, the sight of Ian being happy made the feelings even worse.   
"So she's got brown hair." Anthony asked in an attempt to distract himself. Joven nodded, "And how tall is she exactly?" Joven indicated to just at the bridge of his nose. He remained silent, still concentrated on finding Annie. Anthony noticed that Joven began becoming agitated and nervous, his hands constantly fidgeted with one another and he pushed up his glasses frequently. "  
Joven, are you okay?" Anthony asked as they began to search the outside are of the party, close to the wall and underneath the balcony. Joven said something, but Anthony couldn't hear it.  
"Joven is she really worth it. I mean wouldn't you rather be enjoying the party?" Anthony had begun to feel as though his first big party was being wasted looking for a girl he didn't even know was here. Joven snapped round to look at him dead in the eye, there was a deep anger that lay there.   
"Yes it is worth it. If you don't want to come with me then go and apologise to Ian and go follow them." Joven said shouting profusely in Anthony's face. Anthony had never seen this side of Joven before, he had seen him angered at a video game, but that was different. This Joven scared him and intrigued him, and seeing as he definitely didn't want to go back to Ian, he decided to continue following Joven.

They walked around the edge, Joven closely inspecting each person as they passed, Anthony following behind, not saying anything. There had been one moment when Anthony could see Ian dancing again, but this time he was dancing with a girl. He looked away dumbly, it should have been him dancing with pretty girls, not Ian. Ian was gay, it didn't even matter that much to him, and instead, Anthony was the one who wasn't enjoying the party he wanted to go to in the first place. Ian wouldn't even be here if it weren't for him. Yet that was it. If Anthony hadn't begged Ian to come, Ian wouldn't be here at all. It was Anthony who had wanted to come, and he knew that if Ian hadn't come with him, he would probably be at home already, recovering from another on of his stupid panic attacks. When he was with Ian, he felt safer, more secure.

One summer Ian had gone to Europe for six whole weeks, during this time, Anthony wasn't able to maintain contact with him, and his panic attacks got worse, more frequent. Only when Ian came back did his panic attacks seem to subside. Ian gave Anthony a sense of security that no one else in his life had been able to give him. He didn't know why, but he also didn't care. He just wanted to go back and apologise. To have fun at an amazing party, with his best friend. He was just about to tell Joven this, when Joven grabbed his arm, rather too tightly and pulled him in.   
"That's her." He said indicating to a girl in a black dress, leaning against a wall. Several people seemed to have gravitated towards her and a small crowd had formed. Anthony felt as though he could not leave Joven now, just when he had found her. He realised his heartfelt apology would have to come later.  
"Well then lets go over to her." Anthony said beginning to walk towards her. He would be there for Joven as Ian was there for him.


	12. Chapter 12

Joven walked towards the girl who was surrounded by a crowd of keen vultures. They all seemed to glance at him and turn away as he got closer, Anthony tailing behind him, as always. She seemed to radiate compared with the plain people around her. In her hand was a bottle of beer, and the other... well that was why he had been looking for her. She caught sight of Joven, and smiled brightly as she beckoned him over. As soon as they were close enough to each other, she reached up and kissed him. This was why he liked her, there wasn't any awkward bullshit. It was just a simple connection between the two of them.

"Hello, Jovenshire, my dearest. Back for more I see." She said, twirling the blunt in her hand, Joven nodded. She handed him the one that was in her hand after taking one last drag. Joven turned back to Anthony, smiling through the curls of translucent smoke. He could see that Anthony was confused, almost disgusted, but that didn't matter, he was beginning to feel too happy.   
"Who's this Joven?" She asked sweetly, indicating to the smaller boy.   
"Annie, this is Anthony, he goes to my school" Joven said smiling. "Anthony..." She said eyeing him,  
"It's a pleasure to meet you." she continued, now staring at him with her deep blue eyes. Joven suddenly grew jealous of the way she was looking at him, and decided to try and separate them.   
"Here." He said, offering the blunt to Anthony. Who shook his head, almost in fear. Annie laughed next to Joven.   
"Aw, don't pressure him," she said, taking the joint back from Joven, and inhaling it deeply, laughing as she exhaled.   
"Maybe you'd like something stronger?" she said procuring a small white pill from her clutch bag, and placing on her tongue, winking at Anthony who again shook his head.

She shrugged, swallowing the pill with her beer. "And what about you, Jovie?" she asked. Returning her attention back to the older boy. Joven nodded smiling stupidly. She reached into her clutch again and got a pill that was a pale blue. She placed it on her tongue again and learned in to kiss Joven again. He could feel the hard pill interfering with the kiss as she placed in his tongue. It tasted bitter, but that didn't matter. She pulled away, and he swallowed dry, the pill forming a lump in his throat. He smiled stupidly again and leaned towards Annie for a third kiss, but she pushed him away harshly. Shaking her head temptingly.   
"Wait until it kicks in" she explained laughed at Joven's hurt face.

"Joven, can I talk to you quickly" Anthony said seizing the moment before Joven got too high to make any sense. Joven nodded and followed Anthony to a place that was out of earshot to the others, particularly Annie.   
"What's up?" Joven asked simply.  
"Joven, are you sure this is safe?" Anthony asked. Joven nodded, laughing a bit, the chemicals in his brain changing his outlook.   
"I'm not so sure. What if you get addicted?" Anthony said, looking worried.   
"It's a habit worth forming if the means justify the ends." Joven said completely seriously, before breaking down in laughter.  
"What does that even mean?" Anthony asked frustratedly, but Joven just laughed.   
"Does David know about this?"   
"David?" Joven scoffed. "He'd have to get out of his own pit of self pity to notice anything about any body else." Joven said, angrily. He turned away from Anthony and made his way back to Annie. Anthony trailed behind, concerned for his friend's safety. A smiling Annie was waiting for them, the effects of the drugs already taking hold.

"Let's go dance!" she suggested merrily, almost skipping as she took Anthony's hand, dragging him to the middle of the room. Joven watched them jealously, following after them. He felt really conflicted. On the one hand the drugs were making him feel happy beyond belief, on the other, the girl he loved just ran off with one of his closest friends, and here he was running after them, hoping to win her back. He eventually found them. Her hands wrapped around his body, his hands on her shoulders. It looked like he was pushing away but that didn't matter. He pulled them apart, and stood in between them staring down at Annie.  
"Oh Joven. You don't think I actually had feelings for you?" She said innocently. She laughed harshly. "You did. Oh that is too precious. It's all business, my dearest."She said still laughing at the hurt look on his face. Joven turned away, too furious to look at her face anymore.

He had walked , or rather stormed, ten meters away, when he felt a hand on his arm. He really wanted it to be Annie, for her to tell him that she was joking, that she really did like him. But the hand was too big to be hers. He turned round to Anthony, who looked so apologetic it made Joven laugh.   
"Joven. I am so sorr-"   
"It's okay" Joven interrupted "It's not you're fault. She's the one who lied to me. It's okay." Anthony nodded, still ashamed of himself. Joven smiled and quickly hugged Anthony, when they both felt a vibration in Joven's pocket. Joven looked down at the text, then back at Anthony.   
"We've got to go." He said, almost with disappointment.   
"David?" Anthony asked. Joven nodded and led Anthony to the doorway.

They came out and just to see Ian and David looking at each other, almost lovingly. Joven laughed as he walked towards them.   
"Alright lovebirds settle down." he said, and they both turned towards their two friends, breaking eye contact between each other. Ian looked at Anthony and felt a pang of pain. Anthony started walking towards him an raised his hand. Ian flinched, expecting to feel a punch to the face, but instead he felt Anthony's body against his own, hugging him tightly.   
"I'm sorry" Anthony said. He didn't need to say anything else.   
"Me too" Ian said, hugging Anthony tighter.  
"We're going to try to find a motel or something" David said, leaning against Joven, who was leaning on him.

They all eventually found a motel at 3 am. Joven lay on the old mattress, unable to sleep as he came down from his high. He looked round the dingy room, at his friends. Anthony was tailing with him on the bed, his feet growing closer to his face. He turned over to face the other half of the room, where David slept on the sofa, Ian using David's stomach as a pillow. Both of their arm's wrapped around each other. Joven realised that he did't even feel upset about what had happened tonight. He just felt contempt to be where he was. With his friends, with people who loved him as much he loved them. He fell asleep, with theses thoughts drifting through his mind.


	13. Chapter 13

Sohinki sat in the passenger seat of O'Brien's car, which smelt strongly of his companion's cologne, and the sound of a Dire Straits song, just loud enough to hear, broke the silence between them. O'Brien was wearing his best clothes, whereas Sohinki, who couldn't care less, was wearing ill fitting jeans and a wrinkled t shirt which he had already worn on Monday. The sun was just setting, and a dim orange glow was filling the atmosphere.   
"Does your brother know we're coming" Sohinki asked after getting bored of the same bland buildings passing by, over and over.   
"Of course not," Sohinki threw him a skeptical glance, "Chill okay, we're brothers, we're close." Sohinki didn't want to argue.

He had never been one to talk continuously, or even more than a few, monosyllabic words. He didn't understand the need to talk excessively when all you wanted to say could be said in a few words. Now he was being forced to socialise with people several years older, just because he also couldn't say no, and it always came back to haunt him. Four songs later, and no more words exchanged between them, O'Brien and Sohinki were leaving O'Brien's blue Toyota, and walking towards the green painted, frat house of Zeta Alpha Beta. Sohinki could smell the drugs issuing from the house, as though the building itself had a spliff between its lips. A song with a rapid base seemed to be so loud it rattled the windows and could be heard from several houses away. The sun had now set, but the sky faded from a pale blue to a darker, softer blue. They approached the house, walking through the warm air, and walked through the small groups of people that had converged onto the grass outside, and through the open door of the frat house. Inside, an incredible amount of adolescent boys, under several influences, were dancing and drinking sloppily in the one large, open space of the house. Sohinki wasn't scared by this, but overwhelmed.

He stood closer to O'Brien, in a hope of protection, or just security.   
"I'm going to try to find my brother." O'Brien shouted into Sohinki's ear. Sohinki nodded, watching O'Brien be engulfed by the massive crowd of dancing men. He should have called out for him, or tried to follow him. Instead he was left alone in the middle of a frat party, with no companion. After standing where O'Brien left him for several minutes, he noticed he was drawing attention of the Zetas, who were looking at him as though he didn't belong. Why wouldn't they? He didn't. He decided to leave. He had no business being here and he didn't want to either. He would worry about the details of getting home when he came to it. Now, he was just hoping to find his way through the crowd in one piece. He couldn't see the door past the heads of the others in the room, nonetheless he headed in the direction that he came in and hoped for the best.

After pushing his way through a crowd of dancers, he was stopped by another, only these people were not dancing.  
"Hey little guy," one of the boys. His eyes were bloodshot and his entire essence smelt of drugs. Linked round his arm was an equally high girl, with bright blond hair, who wouldn't stop laughing. Sohinki tried to ignore them and walk past them, but the thick arm of one of the other boys caught him and pulled him back.   
"Where are you going little one? Don't be rude now." the first boy taunted again, and his friends laughed. Sohinki said nothing but continued to stand looking at each of them in turn. All of them were at different stages of stoned.   
"Don't tease him, Jack." the blond girl said through a fit of giggles.   
"No. He just needs to calm down a bit." the boy called Jack said, as he took a blunt from the mouth of another of his friends which looked momentarily stunned at this action. Jack then turned bak towards Sohinki, and stretched out his hand, offering the blunt to him. Sohinki stared at it for a second, marvelling at the neatly wrapped paper around it. Then he noticed how Jack's hand seemed to be shaking slightly, he snapped out of his momentary trance and purposefully walked in the opposite direction. He heard a chorus of laughs and Jack calling him back, but he ignored them.

He was completely disorientated. He had no idea where the door was in relation to him, but he was determined to leave. Sohinki began walking in the direction he was facing, hoping that he could avoid Jack, and still find the exit. Any exit. This was proving a lot harder than he previously thought. Everywhere he stepped, he was thrown off course by another person stepping in front of him as they danced or as they offered him alcohol. It must have been at least five minutes before he came across any feature in the house that was not a person, or coffee table. Ahead of him was a set of stairs. Nothing grand or particularly different about them, white banisters, a cupboard under the stairs, plain carpet covering the steps. However, there was something else on the carpet that made Sohinki stand still in amazement. Mari Takahashi was standing, drink in hand, on the middle of the staircase, like an ancient greek statue, majestic and elegant.

She was alone, but looking up the stairs, as though expecting someone. She seemed to have given up on waiting, and began to look else where around the house. For reasons unknown to even himself, Sohinki began to walk up the stairs, towards Mari. As he was ascending the staircase, Mari caught sight of Sohinki, and smiled. Sohinki was sure that she was not looking at him, why would she, they only time they've ever conversed was at the music store, and that was a terrible experience. Nonetheless, she began walking down the stairs towards him. It was clear she was intoxicated as she stumbled down the stairs placing each foot down heavily. She would have fallen on her face if Sohinki didn't catch her at the last second.

"Are you okay?" He asked tentatively. She nodded and giggled.   
"You saved my life" She said dreamily.   
"I don't think I-"   
"Shh yes you did. Whats your name?" She interrupted still swaying slightly.  
"Sohinki." he said simply.  
"Mari." I know. He thought as she stretched out her hand for a hand shake, but she swayed too strongly and almost fell again. Sohinki reached out and grabbed her by the waist to stop her. Her waist was so small and delicate he felt as though if he held he too strongly, she would break in half.   
"You did it again." She said admiringly. The next sequence of events happened so quickly, when he reflected on it, he felt as though he was watching it from an outsiders perspective.

Mari leaned in to Sohinki further and further, until her lips were on his. She tasted strongly of alcohol and the kiss was messy and drunk, but he didn't care. He was actually kissing Mari Takahashi. She darted her tongue into his mouth and pulled him in closer. He held her closely by the small of her back, relishing every moment. Then suddenly they were being torn apart, he saw a frat boy, about two years older than he was, staring angrily first at Mari then at him. He punched Sohinki. He didn't even have time to defend himself. He just saw the stout arm pull back and come crashing down onto his face in a blur. It struck him on the eye, he was so stunned that he didn't feel the pain at first, but he was thrown off balance and tumbled down the stairs. Then the fiery pain came, and he reached up to hold where he had been hit. His eye felt puffy and when he drew his hand away agin there was a small amount of blood.

When he looked up at his attacker, both he and Mari were in a heated argument, as though he didn't exist.   
"Why the fuck did you let him kiss you?" the attacker asked, covering Mari, but Mari stood strong.   
"Why did you invite me here, and spend the whole time with Amy?" she asked getting angry. Sohinki didn't stay to hear more. Mari had used him against her boyfriend, he meant nothing to her. She was so drunk she probably wouldn't even remember who it was she kissed. Sohinki walked purposefully away from there. He had a new found determination to leave this place. He was only stopped once by an angered O'Brien who simply said:  
"We need to get out of here." Sohinki agreed and they finally made their way out into the cooler open air. Once they had got back into O'Brien's car, O'Brien would not stop talking about how his brother had thrown him out and had gotten angry at him, but Sohinki didn't mind. He didn't want to talk about the nights events, or remember them. He just wanted to go home and forget everything, but that would never happen.


	14. Chapter 14

Jovenshire lay awake on the old bed in the the motel room in Sacramento, for almost an hour, hugging Anthony's foot and silently giggling to himself. The drugs that Annie had given him, had fully taken hold, and he was too high to come back down to reality.   
"I'm really hungry." Joven said out loud, cutting the silence in the room, leaving a soft ringing sound as his voice echoed through the room. His statement was true however, he really did feel like eating. Joven stood up after dragging himself out of bed. He walked to the door, which had paint pealing off the corners, and left the motel room.

A sudden cold breeze filled the room as he stepped out, slamming the door behind him. Anthony woke with a jolt as the door banged shut. He felt the coldness fly over him, and pulled his blanket over himself tighter. He was too caught in the limbo between sleep and being awake to notice the absence of his friend and oblivious to any changes in his environment. Joven had been walking along the street light lit roads of Sacramento, with no direction for half an hour. He still felt the intensely strong desire to eat something, but had failed to find anything to subdue this hunger. He turned street corner after street corner, with all sense of time vanishing.

Eventually, in the distance, he saw a bright neon sign that read "GAS". Joven saw the lights in a way he had never seen them before, as though he could touch them, and in the corner of his eye it looked as though he could see a whole new spectrum. He walked dazedly over to them, compelled to stare at them forever.   
"You okay there kid?" he heard someone say to his left. He turned to his left to see a woman looking at him with an amused concern. Joven nodded, then frowned before saying:   
"I'm really hungry."  
"Okay." the girl replied smiling at the dreamy state of Joven, she then walked into the gas station, her hips swaying slightly as she walked. Joven turned his attention back to the lights, falling into a trance, before he was abruptly pulled back to reality by something blocking his view.

"Hello? I got you these." said the woman's voice again. Joven focussed and realised that what was being held in front of him was a large bag of chips. He took them cautiously and looked at them as though they were a precious gift, to be treasured for the rest of his life.   
"Thanks." He said softly, before looking at the girl again.  
"No problem." she replied, smiling shyly.  
"Are you going to eat them or what?" Joven opened the bag and consumed half the packet within three handfuls. He offered some to the girl, remembering how to be polite, but she refused. Instead, she got out a packet of mints, which she sucked on while she said: 

"So what's your name kid?"   
"Joveshire." he replied between a mouthful of chips. She laughed in disbelief.  
"Your parents really called you Jovenshire?" she asked skeptically.  
"No. They called me Joshua, it's a nickname." he explained.   
"What about you?"   
"Yvette." she said simply.   
"You look incredibly high kid. How old are you?"   
"That's because I am." He laughed and then he remembered what had happened with Annie earlier that night, but felt too high to get a sinking feeling. "I'm eighteen." 

"Aren't you bad?" Yvette said sarcastically.   
"Hardly. We only go to those parties because we think it will make Randall like us more. I think it would be better if we just played video games all day." He could feel the truth coming out of him against his will, but some reason he trusted Yvette. He trusted so that he talked to her for several hours, about David, about gaming, about his life. They ended up talking to each other until the sun rose and he fell asleep in the back of her car.

Miles away in a motel, Ian and David were slowly awakening. Ian stretched ,his back clicking in several places and smiled at a dazed David. David woke up feeling like he had ran headlong into a brick wall, but looked down at Ian who was smiling smiling at him, and felt compelled to smile back, even though he had no idea how he came to be where he lay. He was used to this however and thought nothing of it. He looked around the room as he sat down, his headache becoming severe, and took in his surroundings.   
"Where the fuck is Joshua?" he asked.


	15. Chapter 15

"Well, he's definitely not in the bathroom." David said, exiting the bathroom, his face slightly damp from trying to wake up properly. Ian sped past David, rushing into the bathroom, unexplained. David sent a questioning glance to Anthony.  
"He's been needing to pee for ages." He explained, tying his shoes.   
"I see. You were with Joven last night." David stated.   
"Yeah. Why?"   
"Did he seem weird to you. Was there any sign that he would just abandon us?" David questioned.   
"Um well…" Anthony recalled how Joven had gotten high against his advise, but was unsure whether it was up to him to tell Ian what had happened.  
"If something happened, he could really be in danger, I don't care what it was I just want to know if he's okay. Or if he just went out and didn't think to tell us." David assured, noticing Anthony's hesitation.   
"Well he sort of took some drugs last night. I mean he could have just gone out, but then again…"Anthony trailed off. If David was shocked or concerned about this news, he didn't show it. He looked ahead as though contemplating what to do next.   
"I presume that girl, Annie, gave them to him." he asked as Ian came out the bathroom, looking slightly confused.   
"Yeah she did. I tried to tell him not to, I swear, but he didn't seem to care." Anthony said, defending himself. David gave a quick look that conveyed "that doesn't matter, he still did it" but Anthony was not paying close enough attention to notice.  
"I think we should try and call him." Ian suggested, hoping that Joven had enough sense to take his phone with him. David took out his own phone, which he and Joven had worked weeks for, and rang the one of three contacts he had on it.

Joven woke up in the back of a car, his muscles stiff from the confined space, sun shining in his eyes, and took a minute to asses his surroundings. The car was quite large, but old. The carpet on the floor was worn, and the leather on the seats was cracked. Inside, the engine could be heard, humming gently, but the car was not in motion. Instead a warm breeze was being produced and a ma was quietly talking on the radio. He looked outside to see Yvette walking out from the gas station carrying an energy drink in each hand, smiling at Joven when they had made eye contact. Then he felt the vibration in his back pocket. He looked at the phone screen and his heart dropped, it was from David. He was in such big trouble with David if he found out about the drugs. He would just have to pretend that nothing happened, that he just went for a walk, and that everything was fine. He answered as Yvette was entering the driver's seat of the car. "

Hey David. You're awake?" Joven said innocently, but his voice cracked slightly, giving away the fact that he had been asleep moments ago.  
"Yeah I'm awake, we all are. Where are you?"David replied, keeping calm and relaxed as though he was unaware of anything unusual.   
"I'm at a gas station." Joven was terrible at lying, so he kept as close to the truth as possible. "I was hungry so I went out to get should have left a note or something."  
"Don't worry about it. Get us all something and the meet us back at The Warehouse, I need to get the car anyway." David assured, giving Joven a false sense of security.   
"Sure. See you then." Joven replied before hanging up.

He looked at Yvette again and took the energy drink from her.  
"I am so dead." He said lifting the tab on the drink, and she laughed. She had a laughed that seemed to ring like small bells. Joven noticed now that Yvette had hypnotising green eyes, and hair that had been styled effortlessly into a ponytail, but it still suited her well. She had a slender figure, even though she was nearly as tall as Joven was. He remembered her mentioning that she was in college, which meant that she was at least a year older than him, if not more.   
"Do you want me to give you a ride somewhere kid?" she asked.   
"Unless you know where The Warehouse is." he said   
"Of course I do, I spent half my freshman year there." she said   
"Oh then. If you wouldn't mind, sure." Joven said, "I just need to get something first." He added leaving the car to get three sandwiches from the gas station. When he got back in, he entered at the passenger seat, and took his energy drink and downed it in four large gulps.   
"Thank you, Yvette." Joven said as they drove away.   
"It's nothing, better than going back to the dorm and completing six essays." she joked. "I mean it, I want to pay you back for all you helped me with." Joven said, pulling out his wallet.  
"Keep it. You can use it to buy me a drink later." Yvette said, giving a sideways glance at him, smiling. The rest of the car journey was silent but pleasant, Joven put Yvette's number in his phone and sat there contentedly. If only Annie could see him now. If David could see him now. Then came the realisation that he had to deal with David yelling at him first.

Joven arrived there first, saying goodbye to Yvette as she drove away. There was only a five minute wait before the familiar sight of David's car pulling up greeted him. His stomach dropped as he saw the angry look on David's face as he got out of the car, Ian and Anthony following behind wordlessly.  
"Hey guys. I got sandwiches." Joven said indicating to the three sandwiches clutched in his arms. They all took one each, David looked at his and grimaced, handing it to Ian, clearly too hungover to eat anything.  
"How did you get here Joven?" Anthony said between a mouthful of food.   
"I got a lift from someone." Joven said indifferently.   
"Wait you just got into a stranger's car." Ian asked cautiously. Joven looked as though he were about to defend himself, but David interrupted him.  
"Wouldn't be the worst thing you did last night." He could feel the resentment in his voice, unable to contain it.  
"Let's just get home." he added turning towards the car.

"Did you tell him Anthony?" Joven asked feeling betrayed.  
"It's a good think he did you fuckwit." David replied. He had always called Joven names and teased him affectionately, but now he meant it.   
"What the hell were you thinking."   
"I was thinking that it's my life, and I can do whatever I want. When did you suddenly give a dam?" Joven said, raising his voice slightly.   
"I give a dam because I wake up to find out that my best friend has gone walk about, with no note or any sign where he is. Then I find out that you got completely smashed last night, then you say "it's my life" forgetting that there are others in your life too." David said turning around to face Joven again, his voice getting louder as he spoke.   
"Are you saying that you were actually concerned about someone other than yourself." Joven asked sadistically, becoming enraged.   
"Don't you dare say that." David said. Ian and Anthony stood there quietly, hoping not to get noticed and not interfering politely.  
"Why shouldn't I say it. It's true." Joven asked, David said nothing, but looked more angered. Joven continued, mimicking David in a high whiny voice. "Joshua, I don't think I'm gong to pass this class. Joshua, no one likes me. Joven, I think I might be gay. Joven, my father abused me. I don't want to know any more." Joven said, shouting the last sentence.

David's face suddenly grew pail, and looked hurt. Joven realised what he had said, and the effect that they had on David. They seem to hang in the air, constantly reminding him of how he had let his rage get the better of him.  
"I'm sorry." Joven said quietly.  
"Just get in the car." David replied quietly and relatively calmly.   
"David," Joven tried again.   
"I said get in the car." David shouted not looking at Joven.   
"All of you." he said to Ian and Anthony. Joven sat in the back where Ian was sitting before, so that he did not have to sit next to David on the way back. Even when they had dropped off Ian and Anthony, he still sat alone in the back.

He received a text from Yvette some hours later, saying: "Nice meeting you kid". She wouldn't have said that if she knew what he did. Why would anyone ever trust him with anything again. He had betrayed his best friend. He tried to reassure himself that David had over reacted and made him say these things, but he knew really that this was not the case. That Joven was in the wrong, not David, and he had to try and make David forgive him.


	16. Chapter 16

Joven had been trying all week to get David to forgive him, but you can't make people forgive you. You could persuade them, or assure them, but forgiveness is their own step. Davis was particularly difficult to reach. Whenever Joven tried talking to him about what happened, he would just change the subject. They acted as though nothing had happened when they were around each other, and Ian and Anthony, but there was always an underlying tension between them.

On the other hand, Joven had called Yvette, and she had answered. Now they spoke on a daily basis, while David was busy with homework.   
"You should just try straight up apologising." she suggested when he told her about him and David.   
"Oh yeah you're right. I haven't tried that yet, you know, it wasn't the first thing I tried." he replied frustratedly.  
"Alright sarcasm, I get the point." She defended,mm"He just sounds like he needs to calm down. Is he really worth what he's putting you through?"   
"Of course he is," Joven said, completely honestly.   
"Then he just needs time, leave it be for a while. Instead you should take me to that drink you promised." Yvette flirted.

Joven sat in the crowded lunch room the next day, sandwiched between Anthony and David, Ian to David's right. He noticed that Ian had grown closer to David, both emotionally and physically. It made apologising to David that much harder. When he saw David between classes, Ian was always there with him, both laughing at their own inside jokes. Didn't this start since Joven had revealed that David was questioning? Joven brushed it off, not wanting to think about it.   
"Dave, we should go check on Randall this weekend. I want to hear what's going on with his girlfriend." Ian said, his voice slightly raised above those surrounding them. Dave? David hated it when Joven called him Dave.   
"Yeah, we should." David laughed.   
"Are we busy Joven?" See Ian, are WE busy. David's my best friend. Joven thought.  
"No I think we're fine." he replied.   
"Are you coming Anthony?"   
"Sure, I've got nothing better to do." Anthony replied, almost bitterly. It seemed he too was affected by Ian and David's new found closeness.

Anthony agreed, only for the chance to spend more time with Ian. He had apologised to him for that reason, because he was lonely without Ian, and Ian was always there for him, but now he was losing him. Even when David wasn't there, it seemed to be Ian's main point of conversation. He was becoming sick of it. He was becoming sick of David all together. It seemed the only person who wasn't annoyed with David was Ian. It was like Ian was obsessed with him, or… Was Ian falling for David? Anthony looked at them talking about a topic he didn't care about. Ian was practically worshiping every word David said. Deep interest in his eyes, leaning in closer to him.

Later in their English class, Anthony decided to question Ian about it.  
"David's alright isn't he?"Anthony asked as they were supposed to be analysing some poem.   
"Yeah, he's great. I'm glad we're friends." Ian said, highlighting a word on the extract and hoping that it was significant to the poem.   
"I'm sure you are." Anthony muttered. " I've got the new Final Fantasy game. You could come around before we go to see Randall if you want." Ian suggested, pretending he didn't hear Anthony.   
"Seriously? Just us?" Anthony asked. Ian nodded as though it were a stupid question.  
"You're still my best friend Anthony. David's great, but we just have a few common interests. He's not you." Ian assured "And I miss you." Ian added jokily.   
"Alright calm down, I'm expecting you to propose to me next." Anthony teased.  
"I'm too good for you." Ian said jokily.

On the Saturday, Anthony sat on Ian's bed for the thousandth time. He could have sworn there was a slight dent in the bed from where he always sat. Next to him, Ian took his turn playing, fully focused on the screen.  
"Joven told me he might have a girlfriend." Anthony said.  
"Might?" Ian asked.  
"Well that's what he said. Apparently they haven't gone out yet." Anthony explained.  
"When did he have time to get a girlfriend? He's ben trying to apologise to David this whole week." Ian said, a hint of annoyance in his voice.  
"I don't even know. Why doesn't David just accept his apology, he can't still be mad about it." Anthony asked.   
"I don't know. He wont even talk about it to me." Ian said, furiously dressing the buttons on the controller.  
"Not even you? what has the world come to?" Anthony teased.  
"Very funny." Ian said as he died.   
"Do you want another go?" He added offering the controller to Anthony.   
"No it's alright. We should go anyway." Anthony said, stretching his legs from where they seemed to be fused into the bed.

Randall sighed as four misfits stumbled through the door.   
"Randall!" Joven exclaimed. "We thought we would come and visit our favourite game shop assistant who would love to give a certain person a discount on these cards" Joven said, indicating to a pack of fifteen wrapped in a shiny foil.   
"No." Randall said quickly. "You guy  
s are going to get me fired. I've already had a shit week so just don't."   
"Why what happened?" David asked. "She dumped me." he said sighing.  
"And you're sad…why?" Ian asked. But Randall just shrugged, looking sad.  
"Syke! I am so goddamn free, you all get discounts today." Randall said excitedly.  
"Alright." Anthony exclaimed.  
"Congrats. How did it happen." David asked playing with a small figurine.   
"I told her that I wasn't going to go around by the name she made up for me, and she went crazy" Randall explained.   
"What name?" Anthony asked.  
"My name isn't actually Randall you know. Its Amra Ricketts." Amra said smiling.  
"You're joking?" David asked. Amra shook his head.   
"To Amra then." David said clapping, the others joining in, Amra bowing.

When they left Amra to his work, all having bought something, taking advantage of their friend's generous spirit, they walked towards David's car. That's hen they saw the man walking down the street. He staggered slightly as he walked, he was walking towards them, but David didn't recognise him, too caught up in the idle talk between his friends. As the man grew closer, his features became more definable, and they looked like David's. They were only a few meters away from each other when David noticed him, and his stomach turned to ice. He held Ian's arm as the man, who had by this point spotted David as well, both stopping dead in his tracks.   
"You little shit." David's father began   
"It's all your fucking fault." His words were slurred but they still hurt David like they had years ago. Ian had never seen David like this, he always had something to say, or stood with confidence. This David seemed smaller and weaker as he stood still taking the verbal abuse, too scared to act out. "  
You enjoying your "better life" with these people? After all that I ever did for you. You're ungrateful, useless and you bring destruction wherever you go. Why would you burden someone else with that?" David's dad continued.

"After all you ever did for him?" Joven challenged. "You mean the scars that he still has because of you. The malnutrition you gave him after years of neglect? Yes we are happy to have David in our lives, because he's a great person, and you're too drunk to even see that. He is the best thing that ever happened to my life, and your life and you threw it away. So just go get another drink and leave us alone." Joven continued arguing, watching as the mn sulk away mumbling "whatever"s and "waste of space"s.   
"Are you okay?" Joven asked David, when the man was a safe distance away. David embraced Joven tightly and nodded.   
"Thank you." He mumbled, relaxing into the hug.   
"I'm sorry you had to deal with that"   
"I'm sorry too." Joven said, both pulling out of the hug.  
"I know." David smiled, his eyes watering slightly, still shocked by what had happened.


	17. Chapter 17

Two Years Later

David knew he would never go to college. Ever since his mother died, his dreams of going off to college, making everybody proud, were dashed. Joven's mum would never have been able to put both boys through college. It wasn't so much of a disadvantage as he still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. David sat in his cupboard of an apartment in New York, listening to the endless creaking of pipes, floorboards, insects and rodents that dwelled between the walls. It was Joven's idea for them both to come to New York. Joven could have been living in the comfortable dorms of New York University, with actual heating and without the fear of being beaten up on the way home everyday, but he didn't want to leave David to fend for himself.

On their first night, they entered the apartment with only a duffle bag worth of belongings between them. The main room, which had a wall with a counter for a kitchen, and a single bed which looked like the smallest touch would break it, was freezing. They spent several hours turning every valve in the space, but still no change. They had contemplated going to ask one of their neighbors, but it was late and the only sign of life was the miscellaneous grunts from next door. Jet lagged, and disappointed with what there life had become, they cleared a small space on the floor and slept on there instead of the bed, their bags as pillows, their coats as blankets. Now, they had two mattresses, and an electric heater which was only to be used in emergencies. Joven went to College most days and David went to a coffee shop were he had been working as a waiter for the past three months to try to keep up with his side of the rent. Joven's half was funded by his job of handing out flyers on weekends.

David had just finished his shift and was walking to collect Joven from his classes, having learnt quickly that walking around their apartment alone was never a good idea. On that day, it was cold. A thin layer of snow covered every surface, and David walked alone. Then he had waited outside for Joven to walk out if the gates. That's when he had seen him. A boy, not much older than he was leant on the wall next to the gate. He had an air about him that enticed David.  
"You're waiting for someone too?" he had asked, embarrassed by how eager hew had sounded to talk to this person, but he couldn't help himself, he was perfect. To David's surprise, he replied.   
"Yeah, my sister. What about you?" his voice was deep and seemed to echo throughout David's body.   
"My friend. David." He said extending his hand.   
"Michael." The other boy said, shaking David's hand. They spent the next fifteen minutes taking about themselves their interests, their lives. Conversation seemed to flow between them easily. When Michael's sister arrived, interrupting their conversation, Michael had slipped David his number with a wink, and David felt weak at the knees.

Joven sat in the library of his college, finishing an essay that was due two days ago. His phone sat away from arms reach, but it was buzzing constantly. Eventually the temptation became too much. He ended his sentence and reached over to look at what had been distracting him. 10 messages from Yvette, trying to persuade him to stop working and talk to her. He would love nothing more than to go back to Sacramento right now and spend time with his girlfriend, and Ian, and Anthony, and Amra, but his next break was in a month. Instead, he had to complete essays and spend time with David and his new boyfriend. Joven didn't mind David being with Michael, he thought Michael was great. He just wanted to spend time with people he loved too. His walks home with David everyday and the time they spent huddled together against the cold in their apartment kept Joven sane.

* * *

 

Anthony had spent his last two years in high school perfecting his website designing skills. He had gotten good at it. He had earned enough money to get a car so he and Ian could get to school without the bus or David giving them lifts when he could. Life had been boring without their two older friends leading them into mischief. Anthony and Ian had resorted to filling their time with making lip syncs to random songs. They met with Amra occasionally too, but it was always awkward when they did. Without David and Joven life seemed to slow down. At least there was only two more years of high school left. Then he could do what ever he wanted.

Ian had no idea what he wanted to do when he left high school. He was resenting how fast the year seemed to be going. He felt as though next week he would be finishing High School and he still had nothing to work towards. When he had talked about it with the careers adviser, he was asked:   
"What do you enjoy doing?". Then Ian died inside, he had spent all his time trying to get David to like him. He never thought to acquire a hobby or an interest. All he enjoyed doing was spending time with his friends, but no job could come from that. At least Anthony could actually do something.

* * *

 

It was two years since Mari had used Sohinki against her boyfriend at the party. Two years since Mari had kissed Sohinki, but he wasn't celebrating. He wasn't lamenting it either. He couldn't care less now. She was off in some other state, with her ballet troupe, performing every night. Sohinki had lost all desire to be with her after that night. Instead he had focussed on his other desires. He knew he wanted to entertain people. He didn't know why, he had always tried to stay away from people and their sorrows, but acting seemed like something he could actually do, or maybe becoming a comedian. He had always loved video games, but after realizing no real career could come from that, he looked to other jobs, until he found one that suited him.

2014

Wesley Johnson up to the blaring sound of what he was sure was a one direction song. He groaned and got out of bed, which was currently empty apart from him. It took him moment to realize that David was leaving today, and Joven would probably be with him. He pulled on some pants and grabbed a hoodie that was on the back of a chair. Walking into the main room, which was dimly lit, he saw the glare from the screen and a game of DOTA being played. He could tell by the way the figure was moving that Joven was playing. "You idiot! You could have killed him. Now you're going to die." David said angrily.  
"No, David. We could have killed him. Joven on the other hand..." Wes said laughing, leaning on the back of the sofa to the right of Joven. David laughed and Joven sent Wes an angry glance and continued playing stoically.   
"When are you going David?" Wes asked.   
"Really soon. I have to see Ian before I leave. Probably when Joven dies." David explained.   
"So really soon then." indicating to Joven's feeble attempt to defend himself.   
"Shut up, Wes." Joven said.   
"You shouldn't have changed my alarm to One Direction." Wes said   
"It's 5sos." Joven argued, laughing.   
"It's sad that you know that." David teased. 

"Well done." Wes said laughing, as Joven's character fell to the floor dead. Finally putting on the hoodie as he walked over to David who was preparing to leave.   
"You ready to go?" Wes asked. David nodded, swinging his bag over his shoulders.   
"Joven." Wes called, Joven appeared looking slightly disgruntled at his loss. Joven and David embraced quickly, and Wes and David shook hands. David turned and walked out the door, smiling as he left. He was finally going back to New York.


	18. Chapter 18

Mari was deafened by the loud music, the vibrations bounding of the smooth mirrored walls perfectly, so that they shook slightly with every bass note. It was just beginning to grow light outside, street lamps flickering out as she walked past them on the streets of Manhattan. She was now alone in the dance studio. Even though she had a Nutcracker performance later that evening, no Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy could quieten her anger. Mari had never been good at expressing herself through words, unlike her friends who all kept diaries. Instead she expressed herself through dance, and this one of those times.

Mari practically flung herself from one end of the room to the other, with heavy steps and exaggerated moments. When she travelled to the middle of the room, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face stiff from dried tears. She looked smaller, depleted. Focussing on the face staring back at her, she began to spin violently on the spot, getting faster and faster. She should have known that he was not worth her time when only week after they got together, he had already drifted his affections to another girl. She should have left then, but he apologised, and she was young and no one else showed any interest in her. Who would? She spent half of her time in high school studying, and the other half in the dance room. Mari doubted anyone even noticed her. So when he, a senior, noticed her, she was immediately lovestruck. Yet, it was a three year battle for his attention, and the war ended that had only been apart for less than a month, and already his eyes rove and found another life to consume. He didn't even wait to tell her in person, he called her and got it done within five minutes.

She began to grow tired and had stopped focusing on her spot, her head turning with the rest of her body as her spun, slowly she got more disorientated, the room becoming blurry. She was soon spinning so fast that she lost her balance, falling onto her hands and knees, the tears reforming in her eyes. She heard the distant sound of a door closing, and realised she was no longer alone. She pulled herself up so that she was on her feet again, her head still slightly spinning, and walked over to the speaker to turn off the music. The sudden change in volume left a ringing in the room, only the sound of Mari's heavy breathing could be heard.

* * *

 

New York 

In Michael's apartment, David sat on the sofa as though he were sitting somewhere he had sat for his whole life. Michael was riffling through his vast collection of video games, which David was deeply envious of. David looked around the apartment, which was substantially bigger than his, but also cleaner.   
"This place is so clean, how can you stand it?" David asked, Michael chuckled.   
"Its practice."  
"For what?" David asked sceptically, his attention drifting to Michael's bed, which was neatly made. Too neatly, David would happily mess it up.  
"The army." Michael replied, looking to David to see how he would react. David looked at him, taking his eyes away from the temptation of the bed.  
"When are you planning to go?" David asked, a hint of disappointment in his tone though he tried to hide it.   
"Six months." Michael replied. There was a new air of finality, a sense that they would not last as long as he had wanted.   
"I wanted to tell you but..."   
"There's nothing to tell. There's still six months, we can figure something out by then." David replied, sensing the apologetic tone in Michael's voice.   
"Are you sure?" Michael asked. David nodded and walked over to Michael hugging him from behind.  
"I know what game we should play." David teased. Michael looked at him questioningly, but understood when David walked over to his bed, a sly smile on his face.

The professor had just finished his lecture, and there was a dull hum from the fifty students discussing the topic as they filed out through several sets of double doors. Joven gathered his notes on scrap pieces of paper hurriedly and left the auditorium without a word. It was still cold outside, despite spring being in only a month away, so Joven walked to the main entrance where he got out his phone to check on David's whereabouts, only to discover that he had already received a text from David.  
"Was with Michael and lost track of time, will be a few minutes late". So Joven stood by the entrance for ten minutes before he was reunited by his friend, who looked too happy to be concerned with his punctuality.


	19. Chapter 19

Ian wordlessly walked to Anthony's car. His class had been dismissed five minutes early and he gad nothing more to do but wait for his best friend to finish as well. an always thought it would be him that got the car and drove Anthony places, he was after all the David in their friendship. However, three tests later and he was still not able to obtain a licence. Ian became lost in vengeful thought of how his invigilator had deliberately given him an error, he barely even brushed the curve, and didn't notice Anthony walking towards him.   
"I guess you're coming to mine then?" Anthony asked, unlocking his car.   
"Everyday." Ian replied, coming out of his trance.  
"I don't understand why, your house is nicer than mine." Anthony said sliding into the car. "  
Too many closets." Ian explained, giving Anthony a glance to make sure he understood what he was referring to, and Anthony nodded. Ian hadn't come out to any one apart from Anthony. Wherever Anthony wasn't was just another dark closet for him to sit in. Yet the value of coming out, was outweighed by the risk of being bullied or disowned, now wasn't the right time. Ian vowed that he would come out to his parents after he graduated, and too his classmates…never, they didn't care enough to know. 

Half an hour later, the two boys were in Anthony's bedroom, a two player World of Warcraft playing on a t.v opposite Anthony's bed. Ian lay on the left, sitting crossed legged but his body leant forward with his elbows retsing on the foot of Anthony's bed. Anthony was on the right side, leaning against the pillows the controller resting on his knees. Between the two boys lay the remains of a pizza. The room was small compared to Ian's but it had enough space for a t.v and a computer. It was also considerably messier than Ian's room, but that gave it the air of being homely.  
"Well, I died." Anthony announced, shortly followed by the death of Ian.  
"You distracted me." Ian pouted.  
"Whatever." Anthony was used to the sour losings of his friend.

"We should probably do that English project."  
"Fine. Can we use the computer?"   
"Yeah." Anthony replied, swinging his legs off the bed to start the slow and painful process of turning on his computer.   
"While it's loading do you want to get your notes, do you have them with you?" "Yeah" Ian said walking out the room to retrieve his notes from his bag downstairs. When he had found his notes and returned back to Anthony's room, he noticed Anthony was writing long lines of words Ian did not recognise.  
"Is that our project?" Ian asked standing behind Anthony to take a closer look at the seemingly random characters on the screen.   
"No." Anthony said quickly, minimising the page.   
"Dude, what was it?" Ian asked, but Anthony said nothing.  
"Come on, I wont laugh." Anthony sighed and gave in quickly, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist Ian's persuasive manner for long anyway. Ian stared at the document before him with confusion.   
"What does it man?" Ian asked.   
"It's coding, for a website I'm working on." Anthony replied.  
"So that's what it looks like. It's so complicated."  
"Not really, you just have to learn it like any other language." Ian gave Anthony a look that reminded him that Ian was currently failing french.   
"What website is it for?" Ian asked, still trying to decipher the meaning behind the words written on the screen.   
"It's my own, I think I'm going to call it Smosh." "Why?" Ian chuckled, but Anthony just shrugged his shoulders.   
"Can you teach me how to do it?"  
"Sure." Anthony replied, moving along so Ian could sit beside him.

David woke in his own apartment which he could feel was arctic conditions compared with the relative warmth of his cocoon of a blanket on a mattress. He looked around the room and noticed joven was still asleep on his own mattress, his breathing was slow but steady. David was suddenly struck by a wave of inspiration. He threw off his blanket and rushed to his pile of clothes to quickly put on an old hoodie. Then back over to where the two mattresses lay and stood over Joven. In one movement he ripped off Joven's blanket, leaving him exposed to the unheated air of the apartment. Joven shivered and woke suddenly. He looked up and saw the looming figure of David standing above him.   
"Good morning." David said cheerily.   
"I hate you." Joven grumbled back. He stood up out of bed and put on his glasses which were resting on the kitchen counter. He reached down to pick up a stray jumper on the ground and put in on himself. He looked over at David who was tidying up his bed. 

"I have to go to class today." Joven informed.  
"I know, which is why I'm meeting Michael later." David said, continuing with his task. Joven looked at David with disbelief.   
"You are joking?" he asked.   
"I thought you didn't have a problem with me and him." David attacked looking back at Joven.  
"I don't I knew about that since high school. You were supposed to clean today, you promised." Joven said growing angry.  
"I can do both!" David replied.   
"Not with your mess you can't. I wont let you go until you clean everything."   
"Alright mother." David said starting to fold his pile of clothes. Joven nodded and walked over to the kitchen sink to pour himself a glass of water.

"What do you mean you knew since high school?" David asked   
"I thought you didn't believe me when I told you back then."   
"Of course I believed you, all the facts were there, I just took a while to understand what you were saying." Joven stated.  
"What facts?" David asked, almost hurt. "Well, the fact that you and Ian were practically dating." Joven teased.   
"We were not. I don't think of him like that. I thought I was gay well before I met him. I…"   
"Yes alright, whatever you say." Joven interrupted  
"Ian liked you anyway, only someone who was blind would not be able to see that"  
"Shut up." David said bitterly, returning to his folding.

Later, once David had finished his housework to Joven's standard, he made his way to Michael's apartment, where he lay now wrapped in Michael's arms.  
"Let's do something fun." Michael said seemingly suddenly.  
"Something fun?" David asked playfully   
"What did you have in mind?" he continued sliding his hand underneath Michael's shirt. Michael laughed and pushed David away,   
"No, not like that. We've been dating for a while and I feel as though I don't know anything about you or your family or friends there than Joven."   
"Oh." David slunk back and unwrapped himself from Michael. Michael looked at David curiously, careful not to offend David.   
"You do have friends other than Joven," David gave him an angry look which answered 'of course I do',   
"Then tell me." he said gently, resting his head on David's shoulder. He felt David sigh deeply.   
"I'm warning you, it's not a very happy story." David said lightly, Michael could feel the vibrations in David's voice as he spoke.   
"I can take it." Michael assured.

David shook his head, as though in disbelief that he was about to tell his story.   
"Well back home I have a few other friends, one of them apparently had a crush on me for the entirety of high school." David began, thinking of his conversation with Joven.   
"Should I be worried?" Michael teased, but David shot him an annoyed glance.  
"I'm guessing Joven is your closest friend."   
"Dude, Joven and I are basically brothers. I've lived with him for almost five years." David said.   
"Why?" Michael asked, being cautious of his words.   
"Well, I ran away from home." Michael let David continue at his own pace. "My mother died when I was young. My dad started becoming an alcoholic and one day he attacked me and I left and ran away to Joven's house. I've lived there ever since." David was speaking quickly, as though this were a story he was tired of telling. Michael looked at him anxiously. David noticed this and rolled his eyes. "Look, no offence but I'm really not the heart to heart kind of guy. I'm over it. My life is good now, comparatively, and I couldn't care less about it anymore." David said almost angrily. "Sorry. What about you?" he added calming down. 

"I have a sister, as you know, she's my step-sister. I had a brother too, he was in the army. We were close you know, did everything together. He taught me everything I needed to know, and more. He left for the army three years ago. We always talked about going in together, being in the same squadron. He was shot. Just like that. All our plans, everything, just over." He paused here, taking a deep breath. "I vowed that day that I would still go to the army, in his honour." They both sat there in silence for a while, David broke the silence bluntly. "You're right, this was fun." Michael looked at him without, expression on his face. David felt worried that he had gone too far, but Michael's face broke into a smile before he started laughing uncontrollably. David joined in, with laughing for no apparent reason. Yet their own reason's made sense to them.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this takes place during spring break, but lets be real Joven and David would rather go home than party, so they went back to Sacramento. Michael came along too, and Ian is not happy about it.

Ian had never felt more awkward. He was sure he would rather relive his first encounter with Anthony, with the terrible chair shuffling and mumbling of words, one hundred times that be here, sitting in a fast food joint with the four people he knew best, and one other. The other, sitting next to David, arm placed lazily on the back of David's chair, their bodies leaning against each other. This was the one that Ian wasn't and could never be and everyone at the table knew it. The table was silent, no one was talking. Amra, was leaning back in his chair, Joven was mindlessly fiddling with his empty glass, and both Ian and Anthony next next to each other basking in the awkwardness.

Anthony suddenly sat more upright and looked to Joven as he spoke,   
"So how's college?", his voice broke slightly on the first syllable, having not spoken for a long time.   
"It's great," Joven replied, placing down his empty glass and engaging into conversation. "It's too hard though. I'm doing the most useless course, and I feel as though I am doing as much work as some of the law students." Anthony had noticed that Joven had become more tired, David too, as though they were both being drained of life.   
"Are you studying anything Michael?" Ian suddenly asked, he was forcedly compelling himself to not sound bitter or jealous.  
"Yeah, I'm doing communications. It's the easiest course ever, I pity Joven so much. Why did you even pick Media?" Michael asked smiling.   
"I don't know. I think its just a program I thought could be one I wouldn't fail in…I was so wrong" David, Michael, Amra and Joven all laughed. Ian and Anthony remained silent the only ones too young to be in college. 

"Are you guys choosing colleges now?" David said, looking at Ian rather than the both of them.   
"Sort of. I don't really know what I want to do." Ian said, avoiding eye contact with David.   
"Ah that's fine though. You don't have to know now." Michael said. Ian replied by smiling politely but briefly. Ian didn't know why he didn't like Michael. Michael was nice, and funny and he should be happy for David. Yet Michael embodied everything that Ian wasn't. He was smart and tall and good looking. David was bound to fall for someone like Michael. Never for someone like Ian.

"And New York? What's that like" Amra asked, still leaning back in his chair.   
"Still huge." Joven replied "and our apartment has not gotten any bigger or improved in any way."   
"Dude, just let me forget that we have to go back to that for a little while." David groaned.  
"It can't be that bad, surely?" Anthony asked.  
"It's worse." Joven replied "Last week we had no water for five days. I had to shower on campus."  
"Yeah, and I basically lived with Michael, because I just didn't want to live with no water." David added, laughing. Ian began to get envious again, of how much time Michael got to spend with David. He thought he was over David completely, but seeing him again brought back so may feelings and emotions he wish he didn't feel.  
"You know, I wouldn't mind if you did move in with me, permanently. Joven too. My sister's getting her own apartment so I will have a spare room." Michael said. David looked at Joven, as though seeking a response, and Joven shrugged.  
"We'll think about it." David said assuringly.

Now Ian had reached his limit. He couldn't stand the domestic talk any longer, they couldn't have one conversation without Michael's input. He stood up quickly and excused himself before walking towards the bathroom. He peed even though he didn't urgently need to and went to wash his hands, when David walked in. He was still feeling slightly frustrated with everything and didn't say anything as David walked passed him to enter a cubicle and grab a handful of toilet roll. Ian looked at him suspiciously whilst washing his hands.   
"Joven spilled his refill all over the table." David sighed. Ian was forced to laugh, some things just never changed.   
"Are you alright, you seem a bit tense?" David asked. Ian nodded.   
"I'm fine." Ian assured smiling at David.  
"What about you?"   
"I'm great." David said simply.   
"Things seem good with you and Michael." Ian said. David opened his mouth as though he were going to say something, Ian couldn't determine the expression on his face, it was angry and confused at the same time.   
"I'm sorry." David said. Ian tried to ask him what for but he left the bathroom quickly without saying anything else.

David wanted to say so much. He wanted to say "yes, Michael and I are great" and "what about you, are you seeing any one?". Yet all he was able to think is "why did you have to ask me that, I know you don't like him" and "what your issue with him, why can't you like him" and "haven't you moved on yet?" and instead he just said "I'm sorry". Two measly words. They were so vague too, what would Ian think of them, of him? These thoughts were swirling in David's head when he returned to the table, which seemed to be a chorus of complaints aimed at Joven. "

Aw come on guys, it's not Joven's fault he was dropped on his head when he was one." David laughed placing tissues on the wet puddle that formed on the table.   
"How do you even know that?" Joven asked "Actually at this point I'm not even surprised."   
"Your sister told me she did it when she was drunk" David explained. At this point Ian rejoined them, trying to blend in with the group, laughing as they were, but he was still confused about what David had said. He wanted to talk about it, but now wasn't the time. Instead, he had to endure however long this meal would last for.


	21. Chapter 21

David woke up in his old bedroom for the first time in months. It was strange, so much had changed in his life, yet nothing really had. He still woke up before Joven, which was the same everywhere they went. He still woke up with a terrible headache, and he still looked at his phone first thing in the morning. This morning there was a text from Michael and one from Ian too. Michael's was the usual "good morning. miss you x", David felt envious that he could afford to go on spring break while he had to stay in his hometown. Ian also often sent him texts to see how he was, but David usually replied with one word answers, he wasn't a conversationalist when it came to texts. Today, however, Ian's text read "Cool. See you tomorrow at 11:00". 

David's eyes quickly darted to the top of his phone screen, where the time was displayed. He only had fifteen minutes before Ian came over with Anthony. He swore loudly as he wished that he was better organised, or had some sense of memory. Joven remained asleep despite David moving loudly around him, in an attempt to get ready in fifteen minutes. His phone buzzed again whilst David was combing his hair and brushing his teeth at the same time. He put down the comb and read the text. "Be there in five minutes". David looked over at Joven who was still asleep. David knew the exact method that always worked to waking Joven up after years of practice. He ripped the sheets off of Joven's body and dragged him onto the floor, where Joven began to grow conscious.  
"I thought I told you to stop doing that." Joven grumbled.  
"It's five to eleven." David answered. "So?" Joven asked getting angrier.  
"So, Ian and Anthony are coming in five minutes."  
"Shit." Joven groaned loudly.   
"Why didn't you wake me earlier?" David shrugged and left the room to wash his face in the bathroom.

The other people in the house had gone out already, leaving Joven and David as they requested, so when Ian knocked at the door the sound resonated throughout the house. David bounded down the stairs and opened the door, panting and out of breath.   
"Are you okay there, David?" Anthony asked.   
"I woke up fifteen minutes ago. Joven's still getting ready" David said, breathing deeply. David stepped aside to let the the two boys into his house. They walked into the house as though it were their own house, as so much of their time was spent within these rooms.   
"Are they here?" Joven called from upstairs.   
"Yeah." David shouted back.  
"Anthony, come up here for a second." Joven called again. David sent Anthony a questioning look, but Anthony just shrugged and walked up the stairs of the house. Ian walked towards the kitchen, and poured himself a drink. David was reminded that he had not eaten yet and was incredibly hungry. He opened a cupboard and got out two slices of bread.

"Want one?" David asked waving the slices of bread towards Ian. "No thanks" he replied. David got out a packet of ham from the fridge and placed a few slices between the bread before devouring the sandwich rapidly. Ian was not sure why Anthony had gone upstairs to Joven, but he didn't really mind. Now that he was alone with David, he could ask him about what had happened between them in the bathroom.  
"David, I'm sorry if what I said the other day offended you." Ian said, his tone soft. David sighed inwardly, he knew he would have to face the consequences of what he said and did one day, but he was still tired from just waking up and was not in the mood at all.   
"It didn't offend me." David did not want to ruin the friendship he had with Ian, he liked Ian, but not in the way Ian liked him. He decided to lie to spare Ian's feelings, and to avoid tension between them.   
"It's just that Michael's going to join the army in a few months. It's been difficult to figure out want we want to do."   
"I'm sorry to hear that." Ian said almost relieved.   
"I'm sorry I shouted at you." David said lightly, he felt that this was not the honest outcome, but it was the one that would cause the least hurt.

"Let's go see what Anthony and Joven are doing." When David had finished his sandwich, the two boys decided to see what their two friends were doing for so long with out them. When they had got upstairs they were greeted with a half naked Anthony.   
"Anthony why are you shirtless?" Ian asked, holding back laughter.  
"Joven gave me this shirt, I was trying it on." Anthony asked slightly annoyed, pulling his shirt over his head.   
"Sure." David said sarcastically. Anthony rolled his eyes as he adjusted his shirt onto his body.  
"What do you want to do?" Joven asked.   
"Play games, duh!" Ian answered, sitting on Joven's bed, which was closer to the screen. Anthony sat their too, as the two were an unbeatable team, leaving Joven and David together as a team.

* * *

 

Somewhere in Florida Mari dumped her duffel bag full of spare clothes in the changing room and walked into the studio where she spotted her friend, Gina, stretching on the floor amongst the fifty other girls in the troupe. Mari walked over to Gina and sat down on the floor beside her. Gina looked up to see who had sat down beside her and smiled childishly when she saw it was Mari.   
"So how was your date yesterday with Harry?" Gina asked pulling the ball of her foot towards her.   
"Harry was creepy moustache guy in South Dakota, but I guess you mean Larry." Mari sighed bending over her outstretched legs so that her stomach lay flat against them.   
"He was… really slow."   
"You went that far on a first date?" Gina asked, astonished.   
"No, I mean he took really long to do anything. It was kind of annoying." Mari explained.   
"How can you always be in a rush. You work way too hard." Gina said standing up. "I'm going to get some water, you want some?"   
Mari shook her head and started rotating her foot with her hand as her leg rested on her thigh. Mari considered Gina's words "You work way too hard". It was true, now that she didn't have a cheating boyfriend to worry about, she started distracting herself by improving her performance, until it had got to the point where she was easily the hardest working dancer in her troupe. Her director took her to the side and told her himself to slow down, not to tire herself out. She had tried going on dates with the occasional person she met in the states they were performing in. None of them were what she was looking for, she rarely kept in contact with any of them. Mari felt tired of her routine, she wanted something new in her life.


	22. Chapter 22

Joven had been back in Sacramento for a week, and already he had been growing tired of it. Compared to New York, Sacramento was dull and lifeless. Sure his friends were here, but he had other friends now at Campus and they were all enjoying themselves, partying on a beach. He missed his old party life, he had only been to a few parties since he met Yvette as most of his free time was spent with her, and she hated parties. Joven felt that now he was just lolling around ,waiting for something interesting to happen. Despite all the unnecessary drama that parties usually brought. Joven missed the excitement of it and wanted to escape the constant security of being stable. Today he would meet Yvette and tell her this. He knew it would make her mad, he knew she would say that "parties aren't worth your time" and "remember how we first met", and true as that may be, the alternative was too boring. He got dressed smartly but casually, avoiding David and his evident snide comments on how he was getting "dolled up" and made his way to the restaurant where they decided to meet.

The restaurant was Yvette's choice, apparently she and her friends had been there together and she liked it. As soon as Joven arrived, he understood why. This restaurant reminded Joven of Yvette. There were flowers on all the tables with a small candle on it as well. He looked at a couple on the table nearest to him, both were eating cake off pink plates, and he seemed to look as though he was not at all comfortable, while she was speaking continuously about nothing and everything. The bright red curtains gave a the whole room a pink glow. Joven sighed deeply. Yvette had changed drastically since she had finished college, she was more conserved and refined. When he first met her she was wearing old, ripped clothes and her hair was messy and unkempt. Now she wore bright colours and her hair as always neatly tucked away. She used to swear a lot too and recently the foulest thing Joven had heard her say was "sugar". Her whole personality had changed, she was less wild, more conserved. If she had met Joven now, she wouldn't even give him a second glance. Joven scanned the restaurant, and in the corner of the room Yvette was sitting there writing in a notebook and smiling softly. Joven still found her amazingly beautiful, despite her character having changed radically. Today for instance, her hair was plaited in a side braid that fell softly onto her left shoulder, she wore a dress that came slightly above her knee when she sat down which was a pale blue.

She wrote with a biro, yet the way she held it, you would think t were a quill as it gently moved along the lines of the leather notebook. As she wrote her face would fall as though she were concentrating deeply and she often bite her lower lip, a sign Joven new meant that she was looking for a better word. He didn't know what she was writing, she always refused to tell him, but that didn't matter. Joven loved to see her like this, so concentrated in work, so passionate about what she was writing. He walked up to her table and sat down opposite her. She looked up and smiled when she recognised Joven standing in front of her and closed her notebook with the pen marking her treating each other lovingly, with a brief kiss, the two began talking, or rather Yvette started to talk. Joven just listened. Then they ordered, a cappuccino for Yvette a coke for Joven, and Yvette continued talking.

It wasn't like they hadn't seen each other in months, they had only met up two days ago. Joven marvelled at how so much could happen to someone in two days. He was pretty sure he could summarise his time in one hundred words, but Yvette just kept on talking. He didn't mind too much though, he liked to hear her talk and was genially interested, but there was also the fact that the longer she talked, the more he wasn't saying what he was intending too. He was acting like he was braking up with her. He needed to grow up and stop being scared of what she might say. It wasn't even that big of a deal. He wanted to tell her that he was thinking of rekindling his old party ways. He was missing out on the whole college experience, and he felt lonely. Going to a few parties couldn't hurt anyone. Even David went to them with Michael, true they often got chased out with gay slurs, but David often said it felt like an adventure. However, Yvette really had changed, and he couldn't know how she would respond to this.

Yvette was currently fiddling with the pendant around her neck, a farewell present from Joven, while she was talking about how she and Amra had bumped into each other recently. She had obviously met all of Joven's friends, much to his annoyance, but they wouldn't stop pestering him about her, so he decided it would be better to just let him judge her for themselves.  
"You know he's thinking of changing his name?" Yvette asked.   
"Amra? Again?" Joven questioned in disbelief. Yvette shrugged her shoulders as if to say "don't ask me, I don't know" and drank some more of her coffee. After placing her coffee back on the table, she looked back up at Joven with a soft smile. "  
So tell more about your adventures in college." she prompted, making it seem as though he were off on some great quest.   
"I've basically told you everything" Joven sighed  
"Oh come on, I basically told you everything when I was in college." yet Joven's college life really wasn't that exciting.  
"What about any new friends?" Yvette continued, sounding worried that her boyfriend was a social outcast.   
"Well, it's sort of hard to..." Joven trailed off, scared of what he was going to say.   
"You must have a lot of work, but it can't be that hard to find someone to talk to. It's New York for goodness sake, there are tonnes of people."   
"Yeah well, I'm considered a freak so-"  
"Oh come on, there must be some other nerds there." Yvette said, Joven could feel the tension rising in him, and accidentally snapped with anger.   
"Yes, but even they go to parties." There was a resonating silence between them as both sat there, shocked by what Joven had just said.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING (RAPE) IN THIS CHAPTER! Seriously though. I have split the chapter into sections between the "current day" in Sacramento and "three months later" in New York. Sacramento follows Yvette and Joven, if this is a trigger to you DO NOT READ THESE PARTS (they're in italics so you can spot them easily), and New York follows Michael and David (Lasercorn), and they are totally cute. I tried to sandwich sad with cute in this one. Sorry for the long wait, I'm in the middle of exams right now. Hope you enjoy it.

Sacramento 

"Is that what you want to do?" Yvette asked, her voice calm and quiet, yet Joven could hear a tone of fear in her words. He took a breath before saying.  
"Yes." It was a simple statement and he said it as calmly as she did, but he still felt an anger boiling inside of him. Yvette looked down in disappointment. "What do you want me to do, Yvette?" Joven asked maintaining his calm composure. "I'm so alone over there. I have no one really."   
"What about David?" Yvette asked. "He's always with Michael, and I can't rely on David for the rest of my life." Yvette said nothing and looked away from Joven. "I don't see what so wrong with wanting to meet people. I cant stand being alone any more."   
"Then come back." Yvette replied. "What?"   
"You heard me, come back here where all your friends are, where I am." Yvette said rising in confidence.  
"No." Joven said bluntly. "I've worked way too hard to just give up and come back." Yvette opened her mouth as though she was about to argue back, but instead, sat back in her chair and said nothing else.

New York (Three Months Later) 

Michael was in their bedroom, folding clothes and putting them into a large suitcase. David lay on the bed next to the suitcase, watching Michael intently, not wanting to look away for one moment. Not wanting to waste any time that could be spent being with Michael.  
"Six months went by so quickly" David said in a soft voice.  
"I know, but it's like you said, we figured something out. And I'll see you in a few months." Michael replied.  
"Sorry if I'm not jumping with joy at the moment. 32 weeks is way too long for training."   
"Most people think it's too short for someone who's supposed to be protecting the country." Michael laughed.   
"Most people aren't deeply in love with you." David said kneeling so that he was at eye level with Michael, and kissed him tenderly.   
"Stop distracting me. I need to pack." Michael said jokingly, but there was an atmosphere in the room of unwanted change. An atmosphere that neither of them liked.

Sacramento

Yvette and Joven had left the restaurant and walked home without saying anything to each other. When they finally got to Yvette's house they both walked in silently and awkwardly. She instructed him to leave his shoes by the door as she always did then walked towards the kitchen. When Joven walked in, she was getting two glasses from the cupboard, reaching up, balancing on her toes.   
"I don't have any alcohol right now, sorry. Juice will have to do." she said, oddly merrily.  
"Yvette?" Joven asked tentatively, he wanted to know why she was acting so…normal.   
"Apple right?" Yvette said, ignoring Joven and carrying two glasses over to the fridge.   
"So we're just ignoring what we just talked about. Great." Joven said sarcastically. Yvette slammed down the glasses onto the granite worktop.  
"What do you want me to say, Joshua?" Yvette said, quickly changing to a serious tone.   
"I want to understand you. I want to know why you're so opposed to me wanting to go to parties." Joven shouted back.   
"Because bad things happen at parties." Yvette shouted. Joven stood, momentarily stunned by Yvette raising her voice.   
"Like what?" he asked, still shouting but not to the extent as he had before.   
"Just…bad things, okay?" Yvette said quieter now, on the edge of tears. Joven could tell that something was wrong, he calmed down and walked around the counter to where she was standing. He reached out his hand to comfort her, but she flinched away.   
"Yvette?" He called in a soft voice "What happened?"

New York (Three Months Later) 

The suitcase stood, packed by the entrance of the apartment. Michael, David and Joven sat in the main room, something meaningless was being played on the television, but no one was paying attention to it.  
"So that's it. There's nothing else to do. I'm leaving, and thats it." Michael said angrily.   
"No." David said. Michael laughed.  
"What do you mean 'no'?"  
"Come on." David said getting up and heading towards the door.  
"Where are you going?" Joven asked.  
"Michael. We are going out. We can do whatever you want. I'm not spending my last night with you watching something stupid." David said defiantly.   
"Golden Girls isn't stupid." Joven defended.  
"You can come too." David offered to Joven as Michael put his coat on, laughing softly.   
"No, it's okay. This is your thing." Joven assured. Outside the apartment, the sun was just beginning to set and Michael and David started walking aimlessly. "  
What do you want to do?" David asked.   
"This is going to sound crazy, you're not going to want to do this." Michael teased.   
"I am totally yours Michael. Say it." they both stifled a giggle.   
"I want to get tattoos" Michael offered. David breathed in deeply.  
"Okay, lets go." David said, increasing his pace. Michael smiled and sped up to catch up with him, as they set off for the nearest tattoo parlour.

Sacramento 

"Remember last year, when I didn't call you for a few weeks?" Yvette said, tuning around so she wasn't facing him while she talked.   
"When you said you were busy with work?" Joven asked, Yvette nodded. "What really happened?"   
"I was at a party with some friends," Yvette paused to breathe, her breaths slow as tough she were forcing herself to stay calm. "You weren't there because you said you had work to do or something. When it first happened, I blamed you for not being there. But know I know that you can't be blamed." Joven felt tense at this. He wanted to urge her on, to force her to explain herself, but he knew that this would have no effect on her, and would only hinder her. So he remained silent and unmoving, waiting for her to continue. "I didn't usually get that drunk at parties, but in a moment of stupidity, I became more drunk than I ever had. I started dancing with my friends, and then this group of guys joined us. I didn't think that here was anything strange about that. But then one of the boys singled me out, started dancing in a way that we were separated from the others, but I didn't even notice" Joven began to fear how this tory would end.

"Then suddenly we were both in a small bathroom. He started coming near me, with this look on his face. When I tried to get out of the bathroom, he pulled me back. He pushed me against a wall and started to touch me. I tried to scream for help, but them he hit me so hard, I started crying. He pushed himself against me so that I couldn't move. Then he, he-" she found herself unable to speak as tears started forming in her eyes, but Joven understood. He wanted to hold her to comfort her, but he found himself unable to move or say anything. When he finally found the courage to do something he said:"I'm sorry Yvette. Why didn't you tell me this before." "I didn't need to relive it" there were tears falling gently down her face.

Joven felt he couldn't leave Yvette after what she had just said to him. So he stayed with her over night. Talking her through it, trying his best to make her feel normal again, and not guilty. It was almost four in the morning before they were both emotionally exhausted and made their way to bed. Just as Joven was about to fall asleep he heard Yvette call out his name. "About the party thing-" she started saying. Joven had completely forgot about his problem which seemed so insignificant now.   
"It's okay, I don't really need to go anyway." he assured her   
"But you want to go. It's not up to me to stop you from going. If you want to go, then go. Just promise me you'll be careful."   
"I will." Joven said, before becoming unconscious with fatigue.


	24. Chapter 24

David was sure he had never felt more out of place. He was surrounded by tall men with beards and tattoos that covered every inch of their skin, and here was David who had never been touched by a needle, save for vaccinations. Now he was sat in a plastic chair, that was becoming increasing sticky with sweat, getting a tattoo by a woman who appeared to have more piercings than he had friends. Michael was sat opposite him, faced to the side, while a man with abnormally large biceps was working on his arm. They had both agreed to not tell each other what they were getting, and the anticipation was slowly eating away at David.

"How're you doing there, Dave?" Michael asked wincing as the needle came closer to an area of bone.  
"Not too bad actually. It just feels like someones sticking a needle into my back hundreds of times. What about you?" David replied, gaining a small chuckle out of Michael.   
"Yeah it doesn't hurt as much as you'd think. Or maybe I'm used to it from my parent's acupuncture phase." Michael suggested, David laughed.   
"Stop moving around so much or I'll mess it up." The woman giving David a tattoo ordered. David apologised and tried to focus on something else. He began looking around the room, at the different patterns and designs blue tacked to the wall. Different shades of red, black and blue making up multiple designs. Some were small, just a silhouette of a bird. David remembered that Joven told him that Yvette had a tattoo of an arrow at her hip bone, and smiled fondly, remembering home. Other tattoos were large and detailed. He imagined how long the person getting those would have to sit there patiently, and the person doing them growing fatigued.

He then focused on Michael, who was looking down at the ground appearing deep in thought. It felt strange to David that he wouldn't be able to see Michael when he wanted. That in less than 12 hours he would be far away from him, and he'd have to be alone in New York again.   
"Mikey." David called. Michael turned to face him. David wanted to say so much. He wanted to say that he'd miss him, that he loved him, that he didn't want Michael to go. All he did though was give him a smile.   
"You're a weird one you know that." Michael responded laughing.

It was half an hour later when the woman with the piercings announced that David was finished. He stood up and walked towards the mirror, careful not to let Michael see the tattoo. When he saw the design he smiled despite himself. "This is amazing." he said to the lady, who smiled bak at the appreciation.   
"Lets see it, David." Michael called.  
"Not until you're finished too." Michael rolled his eyes and looked at his arm urging it to be finished sooner. Back at the apartment after both had revealed the tattoos to themselves, they found Joven who was writing some of his school work at the table. "

Joshua Ovenshire." David called with excitement. Joven looked up to see Michael and David, almost fidgeting with excitement.  
"What did you do?" Joven asked skeptically.   
"We got tattoos." Michael answered.   
"No way! Show me." Joven watched with anticipation as they took off their shirts to reveal a unicorn with a laser shooter on top of it on Michael's shoulder blade, and what appeared to be Samuel L. Jackson riding a dinosaur on Michael's arm.   
"Honestly, there's a reason why you two are together." Joven commented.  
"I think they're pretty cool." David said putting his shirt on again.  
"That's one way to describe it." Joven replied.   
"What? Like your Star Wars tattoo is any better." David argued. Joven subconsciously ran his hand over the tattoo on his leg.   
"Whatever. I think they're all pretty awesome."

Two Months Later David had promised that he was going to stay with Joven until the end of the school year, but then he was moving back to Sacramento. There was nothing for him in New York anymore. Since Michael left he was spiralling into social deprivation. He din't want to the things that he and Michael had done before, what was the point. He mostly stayed at Michael's apartment, which now was being rented out by Joven, or went to work. Even Joven now had an influx of new friends who he spent time with, and one was going to replace David in the spare room come September. David decided to return to his home town of Sacramento. He had saved enough money in New York, with the help of Michael to get an apartment for the two of them.

He was just moving in now with the help of what he fondly called his, recently graduated, "high school gang". Amra was with Anthony in the main room, connecting the t.v and David's old game console. Joven was in the kitchen, cooking, which the others recently found out he had a gift for. David was with Ian in the bedroom tackling the double bed which David had bought, trying , and failing, to assemble it.   
"So you put D2 in H3." Ian read from the instructions.   
"Wait, which one was D2?" David asked looking at the various pieces of frame around him.  
"It looks like this" Ian said indicating the diagram on the instructions.   
"Right." David said, and brandished the piece in the air when he found it, and began hammering it into H3.   
"So how's that mosh thing doing?" David asked  
"Smosh." Ian corrected"  
What I said." David smirked. 

"It's actually doing really great. We got featured on the front page of YouTube." Ian said, watching David hammering the two pieces together.   
"What's that?" David asked, becoming increasingly irritated with the two pieces which refused to be joined.  
"It's a website that you upload videos onto." Ian explained. He heard David stop hammering and saw the questioning and worried look on David's face.  
"It's not like that!" Ian assured. David continued hammering and when it finally went in, he cheered loudly.  
"What's next, kid?" David asked.  
"Put H4 into J7" Ian read out.  
"Where did H4 go?" David asked. hey both looked frantically for the missing piece.

When they realised the box didn't come with a H4. David threw the hammer angrily to the floor.   
"Are you fucking kidding me!" David yelled.   
"It's okay David" Ian assured suppressing a laugh.  
"No it's not! I'm done! Fuck you bed!" David shouted, kicking the bed frame that they had assembled so far. Ian began laughing hysterically.   
"What the hell is going on in here?" Joven asked at the door.   
"We don't have one of the pieces" Ian explained while David got increasingly angrier, cursing under his breath.   
"You mean this one?" Joven asked brandishing H4.   
"I'm going to kill you." David said sinisterly to Joven. Jumping on top of him, wrestling him for the piece.

They both stopped abruptly when they heard the fire alarm go off. All three ran intro the kitchen, shortly followed by Anthony and Amra. Joven quickly covered the pan that was causing the smoke and turned off the gas.   
"Goddamit Joven" Anthony said trying to wave the smoke away from the fire alarm. David stepped in, taking off his shirt to waft the smoke the alarm finally stopped screaming, Amra said:   
"Is that a tattoo, David?" David smiled  
"Yeah it's a unicorn with a laser on it." he said proudlly.   
"So like a laser-corn?" Ian suggested.   
"That's brilliant. Can I call you Lasercorn from now on."   
"Yes! That's awesome." David said putting his shirt back on.   
"Well then Lasercorn" Ian said "Lets go construct that bed."


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Character Death

January 10th

David,

I can't believe it's been 32 weeks already. Did it go quickly for you too? I'm finally done with training. It's been a crazy few months, but honestly I think they were some of the best. The friendships I've made, the skills, honestly, I've changed so much. How is everyone back at home? How's Joven doing in college? You know strangely enough, I'm beginning to miss him almost as much as I miss you. Also the Sacramento gang.

I love hearing about all the fun you guys are having, and I really want to see them all again. I'm glad to hear that you've finally fully furnished the apartment. I can't wait to see it. I miss you so much though. Which brings me to the bad news. I know we planned to meet after I was done with training, but I'm afraid we can't do that anymore. I'm so sorry David. Our squadron leader has decided that we are having our first mission straight away. I'm heading there tomorrow. It's in Mexico. I've never been there, should be interesting. I've never done anything like this mission before either. I've done it in training obviously, but never in an actual battle. I'm scared, David. I'm really scared. I will see you soon though okay. Trust me.

Love you,

Michael.

January 19th

David,

I said I was sorry, David. You cannot be mad about this. You have to understand that I have no control over this. I'm part of the army now, I have to do what they say. I've managed to get leave for March. That's only three months away. I really need you right now David.

Michael

January 28th

David,

Thank you so much for understanding. Mexico's great. Should be home in a few weeks though. Really looking forward to seeing you again my love. This is probably one of the best decisions of my life, but it means I can't see you whenever I want. I've definitely got confirmed leave for the 12th of March. So I'll see you then

Micheal

February 14th

Happy Valentine's day my love. Only 33 days to go until we see each other! I'm dreading every second we're apart. p.s I don't speak Spanish but I think these chocolates have marzipan in them?

February 19th

David,

Please don't paint the walls yellow. My childhood room has yellow walls and I hate them. Maybe white instead? 28 days left!

Michael

February 28th

Mr David Moss, We deeply regret to inform you that on the official list dated 10 . 01 . 2005 CDT Michael Brown is reported to have died 20 . 02 . 2005 at Mexico from internal bleeding caused by a bullet to the lower abdomen... ... David could not read any more. He stuffed the beige letter into a coat pocket and walked towards the only person he thought he could deal with.


	26. Chapter 26

David walked numbly to the house that Ian and Anthony shared. It was a long walk, but he needed the time to think before he saw anyone. He had contemplated going back to his apartment several times, but something told him it was better to see someone than no one. He saw the "smosh house" lawn*, one that he had seen in many of their videos and the house in which he had many good memories. He walked up the drive, past the most unkempt lawn on the street, and knocked on the door. When there was no sound from inside, David knocked harder and kept knocking until a sleepy Anthony opened the door. David hadn't realised that it was now very dark outside and probably in the middle of the night. "Hey David." Anthony said slightly annoyed to have been woken up. However, when he looked at David disheveled appearance he added: "Are you alright dude?"  
"Can I talk to Ian?" David replied, grumbling. Anthony shot him a concerned look, but just nodded and walked back into the house, inviting David in. David stood still, refusing the offer. Anthony shrugged and walked into Ian's bedroom after knocking.

Ian groaned and turned over, ignoring Anthony.  
"Ian?" Anthony called. There was no response. "Ian!" Anthony repeated.   
"What?" Ian groaned from under the sheets.   
"David's outside, he's asking for you."   
"David? You're fucking with me." Ian said appearing from out of the sheets.   
"I'm honestly not." Anthony replied. Ian knew when Anthony was lying, and this was not one of those times.   
"Alright." Ian rolled out of bed and quickly put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. While he was getting dressed, reasons why David was asking for him in the middle of the night. He tried not to focus on it, not letting his mind get too carried away with excitement. He walked to the front door and there stood David, as Anthony had said.

"Hey Lasercorn!" Ian said enthusiastically. When he didn't reply, Ian noticed that David's eyes were red and puffy as though he had been crying, he wouldn't look Ian in the eye, and his hands hang loosely at his sides.   
"David, are you okay?". David didn't look up at Ian, but clenched his fists in frustration. "David?" Ian repeated, with a softer tone. Ian flinched as David raised his hands quickly going towards Ian's body, but David embraced Ian strongly. He returned the hug cautiously. Ian could feel David sobbing in his arms, Davids face was buried in Ian's shoulder, and he was slowly transferring all of his weight onto Ian. Ian held David closely, still not sure why David had began crying, but as he felt hot tears on his shirt, he realised that David would tell him in his own time.  
"Hey buddy, it's okay. Come inside. Come on." Ian said softly, gently pulling David with him as he walked back into the house.

They sat on the couch with David still clinging on to Ian, head resting on his chest, unable to lift his head. David continued crying, unstopping. He didn't care anymore that he probably looked and sounded like an idiot. He couldn't control it anymore. At this moment he knew that Ian was the right person to come to. Anyone else would have asked him too many questions, questions that he didn't want to answer, but Ian remained silent and patient. Ian's hold on David was strong, which David needed as he felt as though he was falling apart. He didn't even notice when Anthony walked in, and Ian had told him that he probably should just go back to bed.

As David continued to cry on him, Ian couldn't help but enjoy the close contact they were sharing at that moment. He could smell David's familiar scent, which had become so comforting to him over the years. Eventually David's crying subsided, and his breathing became slower. Ian realised that David had fallen asleep on top of him. Realising also that it was the middle of the night and he had been woken up from a very deep sleep, and he slowly found himself dipping his head down so that it was resting on the top of David's head, until he too fell asleep.

"Wake up guys." Anthony said before entering the main room where he knew Ian and David were. "Woah...alright." Anthony said when he noticed the tangled forms of Ian and David. David groaned as he woke, and Ian stretched behind him. David separated himself from Ian and stood up.  
"Bathroom?" he asked sleepily. In truth he didn't need the bathroom, but he didn't want to face anybody, not just yet.  
"Round that corner." Ian replied, yawning slightly. When he saw that David was out of earshot Anthony walked over to Ian.  
"Did you find out what's up with him?" he asked. Ian shook his head.  
"No, not yet. But, would you mind leaving for a bit so that I could talk to him alone?" Ian replied.   
"Sure. Just call me if you need me." Anthony said as he grabbed his wallet and keys, heading towards the door.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, David looked in the mirror and sighed heavily. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his hair seemed to be sticking up in a solid peaks, and his clothes were creased and crumpled, forming a terrible piece of abstract art. He ran cold water in the tap and tried to wake himself up. He had almost forgotten why he even felt depressed...almost.

"Where did Anthony go?" David asked as he walked back into the room where Ian was sat.   
"He went out. Had to do something." Ian explained. David nodded and sat down next to Ian on the couch. Neither said anything, they just listened to the silence between them. Ian was the one who eventually broke the silence.   
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked cautiously. David sighed and hung his head in his hands. He paused for a moment before getting up and walking over to his jacket which he had discarded on the floor last night. Ian saw him rummage around in the pocket before taking out a letter. It was scrunched and looked as though it had been well read. Ian recognised it as one of the letters that Michael received from the army.

David handed the letter over to Ian, without directly looking at the younger man. He watched him read it, slowly, then again as though checking that what he had read was really what was written. His face was horror stricken. He looked, unblinking at the letter then back up at David. David couldn't look him in the eye. His gaze seemed fixed on something on his shoes.   
"I'm so sorry, David." Ian said, his voice cracking as he could feel tears grow from inside him. David didn't respond. "David?" Ian called again, and again he was met with silence from David, but he saw a tear roll down the boys face and realised that David had started to cry again, silently. Ian quickly embraced David, letting tears overcome him as well. he realised that he was not crying so much on Michael's behalf, he barely knew him, and didn't get on well when they had met, though he felt some grief, he felt more upset for David. He had known him for so long and even had feelings for him. To see David in this state hurt Ian.

David held on to Ian tightly. He was too exhausted to make a sound as he cried and he was slowly finding it harder to stand. He leant most of his weight against Ian, burying his face in his shoulder, until even Ian could not hold his weight anymore. He felt Ian direct him towards the couch where they had slept, and both collapsed on to it. They soon fell asleep again, emotionally exhausted.

When David woke up again, he was still on the couch, but Ian had disappeared. He looked around the room and saw him in the kitchen speaking with Anthony, apparently telling him what had happened. It was Anthony who first saw that David was awake.   
"Hey, dude. Ian just told told me what happened. I am so sorry." Anthony said in a comforting tone. David sighed and remained silent. It was silent in the room for several moments before David said:  
"Do you guys want to play some video games?" Ian smiled and Anthony said:   
"Sure."

"Michael told me that when we were together he saw no darkness in the world." David explained as he, Ian, and Anthony mindlessly played a game on the screen. He had been slowly talking through what he felt through out the day. "He's right. There is no darkness here, just pure white pain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *yes I know they didn't have the smosh house that soon, but I'm just trying to make the passage of time faster here, okay?


	27. Chapter 27

Joven walked through the white, polished arrivals gate of Sacramento Airport. He looked around to see where his friends were. Then he caught sight of an A3 banner which read "Go back to New York Joven", with the last few words squished unevenly onto the bottom of the page. He chuckled to himself and walked towards the three people holing the banner, none of whom had seemed to notice him yet.

"There he is." Anthony said, pointing in Joven's direction when he had caught sight of him. Joven sped up slightly so that he could finally greet his friends after being trapped by college and work loads. David was the first to greet Joven.  
"Hey Lasercorn." Joven said softly as he embraced David. He had only embraced David like this once before, when he found out what had happened between him and his dad. It was a sincere, heartfelt embrace, that Joven felt comfortable with giving as David had grown to be like a brother to him.  
"I like the sign by the way" Joven said sarcastically.   
"Thanks. We spent about five minutes on it." Anthony said, looking at his piece of art.   
"Is anyone else starving?" Ian asked.   
"Yup." David answered enthusiastically.

They all sat in David's car as they drove to the nearest fast food place. Joven sat in the front next to him, with Ian and Anthony in the back. He couldn't help but notice the similarities between them now, and them five years ago, doing the same things, sitting in the same places. Yet they were not the same. Joven looked over to David as he drove. He was still the David he had grown up with, yet he wasn't. Despite it being two months after Michael had died, David appeared to only just be grasping this concept. Joven was sad about it too, of course he did, he had gotten close to him last year, he was one of his closest friends, but he was no where near as hurt as David was.

Once they were sat down eating pizzas in a small, but crowded restaurant. They began catching up on the time spent apart.   
"So you write the sketches, then you film them, then you put them up on Youtube?" Joven asked. "Yeah, pretty much?" Anthony answered.  
"And you make money from this?" Joven questioned. Ian and Anthony both nodded.   
"Alright." Joven said, still sounding skeptical.  
"Says you who works with a paranormal investing." Anthony joked.  
"Fair enough." Joven shrugged.

Joven noticed how every one pretty much avoided the subject of Michael, he figured it was for the best, but he still wanted to talk about it with David. He was concerned for him. When Ian and Anthony had left the table to go to the bathroom, Joven took his chance, careful not to cause distress.  
"Are you okay?" Joven asked. David knew what he was talking about and sighed before saying.  
"Alright I guess. Could be better. Ian and Anthony have been a huge help though." Joven nodded. He could see the ease at which David felt around them.   
"Have you seen Amra recently?"   
"Oh Flitz? Yeah he's great as always."  
"Does that guy ever feel sad?" Joven asked. David laughed as Ian and Anthony came back to the table.

"Ian, didn't you come out to your parents finally?" Joven asked, speaking through a mouthful of food.   
"Yeah finally, after I had whined about it to him for a thousand years." Anthony interjected. "And I was right."  
"Yeah they were completely fine with it. I don't even know why I was so scared to do it, my parents aren't weird about that stuff."  
"

It's weird." Joven suddenly expressed. The other three turned to him with questioning looks. "Well, it's weird that 5 years ago, we didn't even know each other. I knew David, and you guys knew each other," he continued indicating Ian and Anthony, "but we weren't even aware of each other's existence."   
"Yeah. Ian probably hated me because I made fun of Anthony." David added.  
"Don't mess with my best friend bro." Ian replied.   
"Where do you think we'll be in five years, or ten years."  
"You'll be doing something that involves you making a fool of yourself, despite your qualifications." David said to Joven.  
"Right." Joven said sarcastically, "You'll be doing something that makes people either happy or annoyed." David shrugged indifferently.   
"And you two will be famous or something." David said to Ian and Anthony. Anthony laughed. "It's only a few videos guys, I doubt it will become anything." Anthony dismissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time will be a sort of part three. Everyone will be back, I know I haven't written about some of the side characters recently, but don't worry, they're coming. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave a review, I always reply to them!


	28. Chapter 28

"Remember when I said 'I wonder where I'll be in five years', working for you guys was definitely not what I had in in mind" Joven said as he stood next to his new work mates: Ian, Anthony, Lasercorn, Sohinki, Mari, Flitz and Wes.   
"You sound like that's a bad thing." Ian said, a hint of anxiousness in his voice. It was the first day of filming with Smosh Games, he had every right to be nervous.   
"Yeah but we taught you how to drink and fight-"  
"-and get in trouble with our parents."Anthony interjected.   
"Exactly," continued Joven "we practically raised you."  
"So you guys all know each other?" Sohinki asked. The last thing he needed in a new work environment, was to already be the social outcast.   
"Yeah dude, me, Ian, Anthony, Joven, Flitz. We all grew up together. David said.  
"Don't drag me into this." Fitz argued. "I was on a much higher level you guys."   
"And yet here you are." Joven pointed out, placing a hand on Flitz's shoulder sarcastically.

It had been Anthony'd idea to create a gaming channel, but it hd been Ian's idea to get their closest friends involved. It could be that they all worked together well, because of the understanding they all have with each other. Or it could go terribly, with them all ending up hating each other due to the proximity. That's way they had Sohinki , Wes and Mari they could release some tensions that could arise. Ian had though, and genuinely believe that he was over his high school crush on David. Yet he also couldn't deny the thought of working with him excited him.

The same could not be said, however, for Sohinki. Of course he had recognised her the moment he had seen her. Yes her face had matured, and it had been years , but she was still Mari. She till had all the quirks she used to, and Sohinki still hated himself for remembering them. He had there and then that it was best if he did not become close to her, incase something he didn't want to, became known. Besides he had other friends here.

Joven had gone between various jobs with making videos. Even Lasercorn had joined him at his last one. That's where he had met Sohinki and Wes. Sohinki he had found to be introverted at first, but he had soon found his confidence, of course in insulting Joven jovially, along with David. He hadn't noticed Wes for the first few months he was working there. Yet, one day he happened to be walking past the editor's desk, and was instantly determined to get to know him. It was a decision he regretted. He also didn't regret letting Ian and Anthony persuade him to work for them, or, in turn, persuading them to employ Wes also.

It had taken five years, but David was finally like he was showing on the outside. he had become quite the actor, hiding his emotions. At last he was beginning to less mournful, less angered, less guilty. It wasn't like he hadn't tried to be happy again, or with other people, but Michael had been the the first person he really loved. He wasn't going to let it go that easily. Now he was having a new start, of sorts, and he felt as though he could could really be happy again.

Mari had finished many tours with her ballet troupe, but two years ago, she had decided to pursue a different carer. She had felt the need to settle, and although she valued the experiences touring had given her, she wanted something different. Therefore, as soon as she had quit, she auditioned for Smosh and got her own show. When Anthony had said they were starting a gaming channel, she couldn't resist. She had always secretly loved video games, and playing them for a job, seemed to be something she would love.


	29. Chapter 29

Sohinki walked into the Smosh building, backpack slung across one shoulder, the hood of his hoodie over his head. As he walked into the elevator, he pressed the button for the second floor, and caught sight of his disheveled appearance in the polished elevator mirror. It was too early. He needed more sleep. Coffee would have to suffice as a replacement. He walked into the Smosh Games room, he appeared to be the first there as, kicked his bag under his desk so that the cords and wires underneath entangled it. He turned on his computer, and left the room, heading for the kitchen while he waited for it to load.

In the kitchen, Mari was already reaching up to grab the coffee from the cupboards. Having retrieved it, she turned to find Sohinki entering the kitchen. He didn't look up at her, or even acknowledge that she was there. He appeared to be in a daze.   
"Good morning, Matt." she said.   
"Morning," he said quietly "Just call me Sohinki, okay?"  
"Oh right, sorry." Mari apologised. She really hoped she hadn't offended him, they had only been working together for a few weeks. Sohinki continued making his coffee in silence. He didn't want to talk, and he definitely didn't want to talk to Mari. She left and began to head back to the Smosh Games room. She wondered why Sohinki was so cold to her, he was fine with everyone else. Was something she did? She couldn't have messed up that quickly, could she? She resolved to seek forgiveness from him when she next had the chance.

When Mari had got back into their room, Ian, Lasecorn and Jovenhire were also setting up their work stations. She needed to engrave in her mind their gamer tags so that she didn't mess up in videos, they all did.   
"Stop putting your stuff everywhere." Lasercorn said to Joven as he carried a small figurine back to Joven's desk.   
"There's no space here." Joven complained. taking the figurine back into his hands.  
"You have tons of space, please?"   
"Joven, I sat myself on the opposite side of the room for a reason, to get away from you and all of your junk. So no." Lasercorn replied  
"Now don't talk to me until you say 'Hey, we should leave now, promise I won't kill you on the way home', then I want you to continue to not talk to me." "Wow that was pretty harsh." Mari said walking to her desk.  
"You'll get used to it." Ian assured "They have this weird sibling rivalry."  
"But your right, Mari, that was a bit harsh." Lasercorn said, both Joven and Ian gave him confused look. "I'm sorry Joven, come on lets hug it out."  
Joven rolled his eyes and shook his head. The next second, Lasercorn ran over to Joven an started tackling in the form of bear hugs. Anthony and Sohinki walked in at the same time time.   
"Alright when you two have stopped making out, can we start filming?" Anthony said.

"Good shoot guys." Ian said as he began to turn off his console. "Do you guys want to go to lunch."   
"Man, don't even talk to me about food right now." Anthony said.   
"Are you alright?" Ian asked.  
"Uh yeah, you guys all go have lunch without me." Anthony could feel the ominous signs of a panic attack coming on, he decided it was better to stay inside. "I'll be fine."  
"If you're sure. Who else is coming?"  
"I will." Lasercorn said, getting his wallet from his desk.   
"Me too." Mari answered.   
"I'll come, but can we get Wes as well? I sort of promised we could get lunch together." Joven asked.   
"Sure." Ian said. "Sohinki?" Mari asked   
"Uh, I guess, if everyone else is going?" he replied.  
"Great. See you later, Anthony." Joven said, they briefly waved at each other.

As soon as the others and left the room, Anthony rushed to the nearest bathroom. It was best to have a controlled explosion, somewhere where no one could see him. He was walking quickly along the corridor, passing by editor's desks, including Flitz', who was walking towards him back to his desk.   
"Hey Anthony." Fitz called "How's it going?"  
"Yeah alright I guess." Anthony's voice cracked when he said this and he could feel his body begin to shake slowly, he just wanted to get away from this situation, from everything.   
"Dude, are you okay? You look kind of pale." Before Flitz could get a response, Anthony transitioned into a powerful panic attack. Anthony sank slowly to the ground, breathing heavily and unevenly, Flitz presence and his embarrassment, making the situation worse. But then he heard Flitz voice, it didn't sound threatening, it sounded calm and inviting. Anthony found himself compelled to listen to what he was saying.  
"Anthony? Can you hear me?" Anthony nodded rapidly in response   
"Good. Try breathing with me, okay?" Flitz instructed Anthony to breathe in for four seconds, then hold it for four seconds, then to breath out for four seconds. They repeated the process until Anthony began to still and his breath even out.

"Thank you" Anthony said, panting slightly.   
"No problem." Flitz said, offering a hand to help Anthony back on his feet.  
"How did you know how to do that?" Anthony asked.   
"I had a younger sister who used to get panic attacks, the trick is to try to focus on your breathing." Flitz explained. "I'm hungry, do you want get some food?" Anthony smiled, grateful for not lingering on the subject of his panic attack, and nodded.

At the closest fast food place, Sohinki, Wes, Joven, Lasercorn, Ian, and Mari sat at a table speaking rapidly and excitedly.  
"I can't believe that you've never played Magic: The Gathering." Joven said to Mari.   
"It's the best game ever." Both Sohinki and Lasercorn made noises of agreement whilst their mouths were full of food.   
"It's too complicated," Ian said "I never understood what was going on."   
"Hey, we tried to teach you." Lasercorn defended.  
"Maybe if you focused on the game and what we were telling you, instead of David you would have appreciated the game more." Joven joked. Ian looked down at his food, but Lasercorn could see his cheeks were slightly flushed.   
"Wait what?" Mari asked.  
"Oh, Ian had a massive crush on David pretty much all through out high school." Joven explained.   
"You had a relationship with a girl you met once whilst high in a car park." David argued. Joven shrugged and continued eating.

Ian was grateful that the conversation had diverted back to Magic thanks to Sohinki. Ian had noticed that working with David had rekindled his feelings for him, and Ian wanted so badly to not feel that anymore. He had dated other people. He had felt feelings for them. So why did he always go back to David?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've written a plan for the next couple of chapters of this fic. It's going to be close to 40 chapters in total. Thanks for sticking with it for this long.


	30. Chapter 30

"Why did you say that, Joven?" Lasercorn asked when they had returned to their shared apartment.   
"Say what?" Joven said, confused "You need to stop assuming I know what you're talking about." "  
That Ian liked me." David said angrily.   
"What do you mean? Why is that a problem that I said it?" Joven asked, becoming aggravated himself.  
"You always say things that just make everything awkward." David said.  
"That still doesn't answer why what I said had made you feel awkward." Joven defended.  
"Haven't you noticed?" David asked.  
"Fucking hell. If you don't stop speaking cryptically soon, I'm going to punch you in the face. Noticed what?" Joven said, now shouting.   
"He's beginning to like me again." David said softly.

"What?" Joven asked. David nodded. "Are you being stupid?"  
"No, I'm not. He always wants to do stuff together, and I always catch him looking at me, and there's other things too." Lasercorn said, his voice rising in volume.   
"That's not what I meant." Joven said. David looked at him, perplexed. "It's clear you like him too, I think you always kind of have. Just do everyone a favour, and get together, alright? Maybe then we could stop with this childish bullshit." Joven shouted, he paused for a moment and then said quieter, but with the same level of irritation, "I'm going to bed."

Lasercorn stood in the main room, struck by what Joven had said. He shook himself out of his trance and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. More to have something to do than to quench his thirst. As he opened the cupboard and reached for a glass, many thoughts swam through his mind. He didn't like Ian. Well, he liked Ian as a friend of course. Joven was just seeing things where there wasn't anything to see. He walked over to the sink, and began to fill the glass with water. They were just really close friends. They had been for years. Ian had been there when he needed him most. How could he not feel close to him. Yet there were those moments where he knew that it was more than just strong platonic feelings. Feelings he had never felt for Joven, or any of his other friends. Like when his stomach seemed to turn when Ian smiled, or how he would feel instantly happier when Ian entered the room, or how he would always try to get closer to him, or how he felt immense pride when he made Ian laugh...  
"Shit." David said as he placed his overflowing glass on the counter.

Joven walked into him room, he closed the door with a little too much force, but he was too frustrated to care. Why did he always have to be in the firing line of all of David's problems? Oh right, because he was around him nearly all the time. He needed a break from him. He picked up his phone and his finger's immediately went for Wes' contact. He dialled the number and waited for Wes to answer.   
"Hey, Wes. I know we just came off work, but I was wondering if you wanted to meet up. I kind of need to get away from David for a bit."  
"Yeah, sure. Do you like sushi?" Wes replied.  
"Of course." Joven answered.  
"Great I'll text you the address of this really cool sushi place I found. I'll head there now."  
"Alright. I'll see you there then."

Joven and Wes sat on opposite sides of a booth, plates of sushi placed between them.   
"I'm guessing that something happened between you and David?" Wes asked, playing with his chopsticks.  
"No." Joven replied and laughed at Wes' confused face. "However, something is happening with David and Ian, so obviously I'm in the firing line."   
"Are they together?" Wes asked innocently. Joven looked up at him in surprise.  
"You see it too?" Joven asked. "David's adamant that he has no feelings for Ian."  
"Are you kidding? Only someone who's blind wouldn't be able to see it. You're partially blind and you can see it." Joven laughed.

After the two could no longer physically consume any more sushi, Wes asked:  
"I just got the new Assassin's Creed. Do you want to come over to mine and play it?"  
"It's pretty late." Joven observed.   
"I don't mind. i mean if you want, you can stay over." Wes offered.   
"Yeah, okay."


	31. Chapter 31

Lasercorn stares at the text that Joven sent him, slightly irritated. It read: "Staying with Wes tonight. Don't wait up. Don't be an idiot either." It was he who needed to have Joven around him, not Wes. He heard how bitter and childish he sounded and shook the thought from his mind. Joven was right, he needed to stop being an idiot, stop being childish, and just face the truth. David picks up his phone again and texts Ian: "Do you want to meet up tonight? Joven's out and I'm bored." He reads the message and decides that he didn't want to use excuses anymore. He deletes the part about Joven and hit send.

Ian receives the message and reads it uneasily. Surely, David would want to talk about want happened earlier at lunch. Although Ian might have just been overreacting, they were old friends, why shouldn't they just meet up. Yet there was still something nagging in the back of his head. Concern? Guilt? At this point Anthony walked into the room.   
"Anthony, should I go out and see David?" Ian asked.   
"I don't see why you shouldn't, I'm not going to hold you back." Anthony replied indifferently. Ian looked sadly back at his phone, when Anthony noticed this "Do you not want to go to see him?" Ian sighed, he looked back at Anthony and said:  
"I'm just worried about what he wants to meet up for."  
"Dude, you're making no sense. What would be so bad about meeting up with him?" Anthony said, becoming both concerned and irritated. Ian shifted uncomfortably. 

"I don't think I ever told you this, but pretty much all through high school-"   
"You had a massive crush on David." Anthony finished for him. Ian flushed red.   
"How did you know?" Ian asked.   
"Everyone knew, dude." Anthony replied. Ian's head sunk into his hands and he groaned slightly. Anthony laughed,

"Wait, but what does that have to do with you going to see him today?"   
"It sort of came up today at lunch." Ian revealed.   
"So what? That was years ago, it doesn't matter any more. It's not like you still like him." Anthony said, Ian looked at him guiltily, with a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. "Oh you've got to be kidding me." Ian looked away again, his eyes falling on his phone again. 

"You're definitely going to see him then." Anthony ordered.   
"What?" Ian said, shocked.   
"You might as well come out with it bro, we aren't sixteen anymore. And honestly, I'm pretty sure the feelings aren't one sided." Anthony explained. Ian felt his face grow hot, but decided that Anthony was right, he had to stop hiding, and face the truth. He finally typed the words: "Sure, I'll head over now?", butterflies growing due to anxiousness and excitement.


End file.
